(Sophie is 5' 5", and you can see that Ian is right behind her in height . . . They are growing up so fast)
The year my parents dropped me off at college, my mom cried while my dad drove them home. When she arrived home, she took a walk that lasted several miles until her tears were all cried out. I never knew this story until years later. And, when I heard it, I was bewildered as to why she was so emotional about my departure to a college a mere hour away from home.
But, as the years go by, I understand more and more how she must have felt.
This year, I have a serious case of the end of summer blues. It feels like another marker of the passage of time. Another summer with my kids is gone and it isn't coming back. Did we have enough fun? Did we make enough memories? Did I pay enough attention?
Now, here they are -- my big 7th grader Sophie who started junior high, Ian in the 5th grade, and Isaac (who at least still seems like a little kid) is off to 2nd grade.
I took them to their back to school nights last week. I was so overwhelmed at Sophie's that it made me wonder how I ever survived junior high myself? The halls were so crowded and hot as we wandered through the building looking for all her different classrooms, meeting all eight of her teachers, getting lists of all the supplies she needed. And, I noticed a smell that I recognized from my days in junior high and high school.
What is that smell? Not a bad smell, but something that is the same as it was 20 years ago. Industrial carpet? Glue? I have no idea.
Sophie was completely calm about the whole thing and seemed so nonchalant. But, this morning when I pulled up to drop her off, it was a different story. Suddenly, she looked at me and said, "I'm scared." It was like I could feel the butterflies that were bouncing around her stomach inside myself. I felt like a mother bird booting her baby right out of the nest as I hurriedly assured her she would be fine and practically pushed her out the van door.
I paused for a moment to watch her walk down the street toward the school. She didn't look back. In my mind's eye I could see my little Sophie skipping off to first grade, waving all the way, as I watched from the car. It was a similar moment. Except that now she is practically a lady.
Yes -- I have the summer blues. It is partly about the new schedule, but it is also about realizing that my influence on my children in shrinking. Remembering the things I learned outside the classrooms in junior high and knowing that their innocence is dissolving.
After we watched Sophie walk away, I rounded back to the elementary school and dropped off the boys. Last year, all of my kids had great friends and teachers. It was a blessed year. I am praying this will be another, or that we will at least know how to handle it if it's not.
On Friday, the last day of summer vacation, Isaac and his friend (who I babysit) decided to surprise me by dumping all of the toys into a pile. Remember how I said I had spent some time sorting our toys into nifty labeled boxes that fit neatly onto a shelf Brian built? Well, they decided to dump all 15 bins. There were literally over 500 blocks, hundreds more toys, and the pieces to five different puzzles mixed into a toy soup on the floor.
What makes people behave that way?
They were not super excited to spend the next two hours cleaning up the mess that took them five minutes to make. And, let's just say, I was in extra need of a night out by the time the day was through.
The upside of this story is that it did make it just the tiniest bit easier to send the kids back to school.
And, the happy ending is that we had a night out, with great friends, at Tona -- one of our favorite sushi spots.
