Election 2016

I want my children and my children's children to know that I voted in the 2016 election and I did not vote for the "lesser of two evils" or "a candidate I hated, but the one I hated the least." I did not feel "dirty" or "like I was going to throw up" after I cast my ballot--all sentiments that many expressed about their voting experience in this election.

I voted for Hillary Clinton and I felt very good about it. She is one of the most qualified candidates ever in the history of our country to run for this office. Contrary to what her opponent wanted everyone to believe, she is not a liar. She is one of the most honest candidates (when her statements and the statements of other candidates are scrutinized and fact checked by the eggheads).

She is not a perfect person. None of us are. I'm pretty sure we know every flaw she has ever had after thirty years under the intense spotlight of public scrutiny. Sadly, most (if not all) of the negative things said against her during her campaign were blatantly false, clearly conspiracy theories, or, at the very least, blown way out of proportion. And, by the way, the whole email server thing that has been brought up ad nauseam, has been dismissed in a court of law. Also, less than 48-hours before the election, the FBI agent who had said an investigation was being re-opened admitted that "no reasonable person would consider criminal charges against Clinton for using a personal email server." Don't even talk to me about the other rumors (how she sold all of the U.S. uranium shares for favors from Russia, laughed about getting a child rapist off the hook, would have taken away everyone's guns by going door to door if elected or how she and Bill have had dozens of people killed for their own evil purposes). All credible sources put these hate-filled stories that keep circulating into perspective.

Since I first heard the name Hillary Clinton--back in the early 90s when she was first lady--until recently, I have had a bad taste in my mouth. That is because everyone around me couldn't stand her. It wasn't until she became the Democratic nominee that I had to take a hard look at asking myself what I didn't like about her? And, sadly, after long thoughtful study, the answer that came back had to do with the deep rooted undercurrent of sexism in our society. Once I began to really look at her as a person and a candidate for the presidency, I liked her. I'm not saying that 100% of my ideals for how our country should be run lined up with hers, but most definitely my ideals more closely align with hers than with the extreme right wing turn the Republican party has taken. So, I felt very good about voting Democrat and I felt even better about voting for Hillary.

Back when Donald Trump threw his hat into the ring--before he was even making strides toward becoming the nominee--I did my research on him and I was astonished. I'm not going engage in hate talk by listing details. I will say it was mind boggling. Besides what I initially learned about him, I was further surprised over and over by things he said that were disrespectful toward women and other people throughout his campaign. I have felt a lot of heaviness in my heart over the past year as America has continued to carry him on a tide of popularity that took him right to the position of Republican nominee. I felt disheartened to learn the true sentiments that exist in so many hearts all over America through the candidate selected by the majority.

I have been so naive.

Nearly every poll showed Clinton ahead, so it was with great shock and disbelief that I watched her defeat last night. I guess I could understand if it had been a different Republican candidate. Because I get that people feel very strongly about their Republican ideals and voting for those. But, I am seriously blown away that our country, when faced with these two options, overwhelmingly chose a person of this character--who has made no secret of it or made apologies for the person he is.

Last night, I felt that I wanted to run away from Utah. Because after all the talk talk talk about "I just can't vote for Donald Trump," that is exactly what Utah people did. They showed up in droves and voted for him. And, it made me so sick that for a moment I wished I could run away.

Even though we did not see history made from electing the first female American president last night (that is not the reason I voted for her, but that will be pretty cool for women when it finally happens), I feel so proud of the way she conducted herself. I admire the way she stayed calm under intense pressure, scrutiny and bullying day after day. She is a good example of strength to me.

This is the first presidential election that has caused me to shed actual tears. I was sad when Mitt Romney didn't win because I felt like America really missed out on a smart businessman with good moral character and decency who could have done a lot of good for our country. But, this time, rather than just feeling like we missed out on the better candidate, I feel utterly shocked at our choices as a nation. It is all very unexpected and a lot for me to take in.

Last night, when it was getting late and it seemed like "President Trump" was the way things were going to go, I sat down with my kids for a session of guided meditation. See--there is one positive thing already. Maybe we will begin a habit of meditating to be able to keep calm and carry on. That and maybe we will get much, much better at prayer. We had a meditation session together, took some deep breaths, hugged each other and went to bed. And, when we woke up, the sun rose, just like I promised them it would and we went about our day. I tried to explain to them that 1/2 of the country would have felt just as upset today as we feel if things had gone the other way.

The majority has spoken, and this is what the majority wants. So, I'm going to do exactly what I would have wanted the other half to do if the chips had landed on Madam President Clinton. I'm going to pray that President Trump will rise to the level of this most sacred office and that he will knock my socks off with his awesomeness and I will do my best to avoid being negative now that I've gotten this initial post about the way I wished things would have gone off my chest. Another positive about this outcome is that I don't have to listen to the never ending fountain of hatred spewed toward Hillary Clinton day after day. I guess we may have that fountain of hate spewed toward President Trump instead. But, I will not be a part of it. So--to all of my neighbors, family members and friends (and pretty much the vast majority of everyone I know in the state of Utah, apparently), please show me how President Trump is going to make things great for me. I'm ready and I'm hanging on for the ride.