A Memorable Memorial Day 2012

The pictures I posted of the yard in my last entry were taken in the late 1980s.  It is my understanding that the yard has been in "decline" for about 20 years since the original owners moved out. 

Our neighbors told us it was especially neglected by the multiple owners who have moved in and out over the past 8-10 years.  And, if I am being told correctly, the yard had almost zero maintenance while the the house was empty for one or two years before we bought it.

We are sketchy on all of the details, but that - or something similar to that - is the story of what brought us to the sad state that we found the yard in when we purchased our home in the fall of 2011. 

We have had to cut down at least half a dozen trees because they were dead.  And, by "we," I mostly mean my father-in-law.  He has been great to show up and cut down trees and haul away the wood for us.  Luckily, there are still several magnificent large trees that survived. 

The grass was completely beyond saving.  We haven't seen a single blade of anything but crabgrass.  There was an ancient sprinkler system in place, but Brian has decided we will install a completely new system, so parts have already been ripped out and currently there is no outdoor water hooked up. 

There is a lot of overgrowth covering the half-acre of land we find ourselves newly in charge of.

Brian was optimistic when we decided to purchase this project.  I was certain we could handle the indoors.  He is such a great handyman and worked wonders with the complete remodel of our last house.  But, this yard was daunting.  While is is true that we did manage to plant a yard in our last home, that yard was so much smaller and less complicated.  Plus it took us five-years to complete the front and back yards! 

I guess it was quite a feat to remove two enormous pine trees towering in the front yard - planted way too close to the home about 80-years earlier in our last home (and I have my dad to thank for helping us get those down).  I remember that Brian and I spent our entire first summer digging the roots from those giant trees out of the ground and leveling the soil with a rake.  We put in little flower beds and a brick path from the driveway to the front porch.  I guess we did alright with that yard.  But, it was tiny.  And, it took us five years!  And, the end result was fine, but not spectacular the way we would like this yard to eventually be.

We are starting out our first summer in our new home, hoping that we can transform this enormous, overgrown lot into a gorgeous, magical haven in one year instead of five.  We've been a little worried.  Luckily, a kind group of neighbors have said they will combine forces to help us lay the sprinkler pipes, level the ground, and plant grass.  But, it is up to us to do a lot of clearing and preparation.

In honor of the holiday, Brian put on his grubby clothes and went to work cutting and trimming out in the yard this morning.  Around 11 a.m., much to our surprise, his dad and one of his brothers showed up and started helping him!  It is amazing how much more work three men can accomplish than one.  By 3 p.m., they had cleared a lot of garbage trees that have been growing in odd places for a few years, two more large landscaping trees that didn't make it, and a lot more shrubbery. 

Our house was abuzz with my brother-in-law's wife and seven kids, our kids, and my mother-in-law.  I felt so grateful for family donating their time on a holiday, when I am sure they had several projects of their own, coming together to work on our yard.  What a gift!

It is exciting to see things coming together.  It is amazing how much the face of our yard changes every time another tree is taken down or an area is cleared.  It seems impossible to imagine that there will be a new sprinkler system and grass growing by the time we head into fall. 

The kids were sad to see two more large trees come down today.  I was sad too.  But, it seems they had to go, so we might as well do it before the major landscaping rather than after. 

We had planned for the whole family to go see "The Lorax" this evening, but Brian had to head in to the office so I ended up taking the kids by myself. 

At the end of the movie, the kids said, "Daddy should have watched that movie so he wouldn't have chopped down our trees!"  Haha!

  

The Yard

 (photos from our yard's glory days)

(this last one shows the previous owner who I am told was a master gardener)

The other day, Ian interrupted a serious conversation that Brian and I were having to say, "All you guys ever talk about is money and the yard."

It is true.  We've been a pretty focused but boring pair lately.  It has been nice to get so many projects started on our house and the yard is a big one for sure.  The grass is completely, 100% dead.  Before we can plant new grass, we are installing a new sprinkler system.  Before we begin installing our massive watering apparatus, we need to figure out what to do for AC, since we have none.  So far, the weather has been merciful.  But, warmer temps are on the very near horizon.

When the dandelions first bloomed a month or so ago, it was one of the most breathtaking fields I have ever seen.  I'm not saying that to be sarcastic.  Our lawn looked so happy with literally hundreds of their bright yellow faces covering every inch.  It was almost sad that Brian had to kill them all with round-up. 

I have had the feeling since the first day we moved in and our neighbors started to introduce themselves that everyone is pretty anxious for us to get the yard going.  Apparently, this house use to have one of the nicest yards.  But, sadly, it has been neglected for so long that some of the ornamental trees have even died.

Our neighbors are so incredible.  Now they are talking about getting a group of volunteers together on a Saturday to help us put in the sprinkler system.  Can you imagine?  It makes me feel really happy and blessed.  When we bought this house, we wanted to make it a really cool place for our kids to finish growing up.  But, sometimes, when I look around at all the projects, I wonder how much of their childhoods will be left by the time we are able to make this the place we want it to be.  Having a nice yard for them to play in by next summer would be so nice.  When Brian told me the news, I said, "Well, let them help with the front yard since they have to look at it," and he said, "No, they want to help with the backyard too."  What kind of people care enough to donate their time so my kids can have a nice backyard to play in?  Another reason I love living here.

In the meantime, I think we need a little get away with a rule that no one talks about the yard (or the money it will take to landscape it).

Millie

Sophie and I just returned from seeing "Thoroughly Modern Millie" at the Terrace Plaza Playhouse with Brian's parents.  We took them to the show for Rolayne's birthday, which is later this week.  I'm always impressed with what they are able to do in that little theatre space.  That makes four shows I have been to at the Terrace and I have enjoyed them all.  It's nice to have some good local talent.

Just 2 1/2 more days until the kids are out of school.  Then it's party time!!!

To Work of not to Work

(Photo of the sun by Brian:  Did you see the solar eclipse last night?)

For me, the decision to stay at home with my children was always a given.  My mom stayed home with us.  My friends' moms stayed home with them.  And, I was taught that raising my children was my divine calling in life.  

So, just like with the decision to have children in the first place,  I never spent a lot of time weighing the pros and cons and thinking about possible long term consequences to quitting my job.  I just quit it.  I did stress a little about the financial impact that had in that moment.  But, to me, there was no alternative.  I would stay home with my children no matter what.

And, that is what I did for 10 years, through thick and thin, no matter what.  I am forever grateful that I had those 10 years with my kids, and that time is priceless to me.

Then there came a time when I felt that the right thing for me to do was to make more money for our family.  Lots of moms have to work, no matter what they believe.  Luckily, a perfect opportunity opened up to me and I went to work for my neighbor as an assistant event planner.  

When I went back to work, something happened to me.  I became amazed that I had quit work without giving it much of a second thought all those years ago when Sophie was born.  For the first time, I understood that to be a stay at home mom is to place yourself willingly in one of the most vulnerable situations in the world.  It is to completely give up your professional life, lose your connections and skills and put all of your trust in another human being that he will take care of all of the finances, health insurance, a roof over your head, food and everything.  It is to relinquish all control and all security when it comes to finances.  

I began to worry about my daughters and what I should teach them.  The idea of leaving a tiny new infant in the care of another is something I am so thankful I never had to do.  It would have broken my heart for sure.  My boys were so attached to me that I barely left them anywhere, ever for the first year of their life.  What a luxury!  

But with all of the uncertainty in the world, how could I teach them that making this type of sacrifice was the right thing to do?  On the other hand, of course I wanted them to have kids.  Of course I wanted them to stay home with their babies the way my mom stayed home with me and the way I stayed home with them for 10 years.  I still believed it was the most important thing in the world.  It was very hard to reconcile my thoughts.

Until one day when I finally realized that we just have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst and trust that God will not forget us and, therefore, things will all work out even when they don't "work out."

Career Journey

(Me with my Kate who turns 3 next week)

I stayed up late last night drafting the longest post ever written about my career journey and the new twist it has taken.  Luckily, I hit save instead of publish, because today I feel like condensing it way down.

The (still long, but shortened version of the) saga goes like this:

I never wanted to make a career out of taking care of other peoples' kids.  I'm not sure why exactly, now that I think about it.  I have always loved kids.  All kids.  Especially my own from the moment my first child entered this world.  But, I loved kids long before that.  I've always been drawn to babies.

I'm not sure about the reason that I was turned off to the idea of being a "babysitter."  Maybe I felt there was a stigma.  I just know that it is something I felt strongly that I didn't want to do.

But, when Isaac was a baby, a very close friend of mine (whose 3 kids are close to the same ages as my first 3 kids) needed a babysitter.  And, so, another close friend and I decided to take the job.  It was a good thing I didn't do it every day, because the days I did do it were pretty crazy.  There were 6 kids - two of them were babies, the oldest one (who is 9 months older than Sophie) was in half-day Kindergarten, and all the rest were pre-K.  

I just remember that I spent a lot of time on the floor holding kids, playing with kids, changing diapers, feeding babies bottles while reading stories to toddlers and things like that.  The house was always a disaster at the end of the day.  Sometimes I walked to a park with all 6 of them for a picnic.  Once, I hauled all 6 to a pool so that 2 could go to a swimming lesson.  And, once, when they were a little bit older, I took all 6 to a pool party while I was having appendicitis (and, later that day, I ended up at the Dr's office with all 6 where Brian met me to stay with them in the waiting room -- which luckily had a playland).  There were lots and lots of adventures like that.

It was tricky.  But, I found it very rewarding.  I felt like I was making a difference in the lives of my friends' kids.  I loved them.  There were moments I enjoyed.  And, of course, we needed the money.

Every year, I thought I would just be watching kids for one more year.  Then, school would get out and I would decide to go ahead and watch kids for the summer.  Then, in the fall, I would decide to watch them for one more year again.  

Eventually, I took on two more kids, a boy Isaac's age and a girl Katie's age (when she and Katie were babies).

In the winter of 2010-2011, it became clear to me that my days as a stay-at-home mom were numbered.  Even though I wrote stories for the newspaper and babysat part-time for two families, it wasn't enough with the increased cost of gas, food (and everything else under the sun) and the added expense of our kids getting older.   

After a short fling as a working mom encountering my own childcare challenges and a longer fling as a working mom who was babysitting two kids (and more recently three including the new baby who was added in February to the family I care for) on the three days a week I wasn't heading into an office, I finally decided to call my working outside the home days off (for now).

After a year in the career world, the thrill and excitement of something new had worn off and it felt like a relief and load off my shoulders to give up the demands of office life (why was it that even if I only went to work one day a week - that was the day one of my kids woke up sick?).  But, then there was still the pressing reality of needing to make more money.  I decided to make it a matter of prayer.  I prayed really hard that Brian would get a gigantic raise so that I wouldn't have to go to work and I waited for an answer.

But, instead of Brian getting that phone call about the gigantic raise, I started to feel a different impression.  And, that is what led me to spending the month of April obtaining my in-home family child care license.  In the fall, I will start watching those three kids (ages 6, 2 and 3 months) full-time instead of part-time like I am now.  (note:  the first three kids I took on no longer need a babysitter).

I really hope I did the right thing.  I am thrilled by the fact that this means I can stay home with my last baby during her final, precious years before she goes to school like the others.  I am happy that I am able to contribute to our finances (and, this will hopefully be a step toward getting to some of the repairs we would like to do to our new home that we are so grateful to have).  It feels right and good in many ways. 

But, at other times, when I really think about it, it is going to be a lot to go back to babysitting five days a week (and still writing for the newspaper).  It is a tremendous loss of freedom and takes a lot of . . . something.  Strength, maybe?  Kids need a lot of love and attention.  It takes a lot of . . . Energy?  

I just hope I am up to the task.

Denver 2012

In March we went to Denver for Sophie's state report on Colorado.

One family that we are very close to took all of their kids on road trips to complete their county and state reports (in nearby states like Arizona and Nevada).

Our other good friends have followed suit, and even flew their whole family to New York for a state report.

Note:  We will not be traveling to New York for a state report. 

But, Colorado we can do.  Brian and I decided it's a fun tradition that makes the kids feel really special and so we will do it whenever it is feasible.  Plus, it was a great excuse to visit family in Denver.

Sophie's state report was due in March and my sweet sister-in-law "Can" was due with her fifth child, my beautiful niece Olivia, at the beginning of February.  We collaborated and Can was so accommodating to let us come visit so soon after the new baby (and, amazingly all of the planets came into alignment so that no one got sick and Brian and I were both able to swing our work schedules and the kids didn't have any commitments that couldn't be broken all in the same weekend!).

We woke up early in the morning and had a beautiful drive down through Utah and over into Colorado.  I know this route is a tiny bit longer, but it is so scenic, I think it is worth it.  Even the kids were mesmerized by our colorful surroundings.

When we arrived, Can had a delicious meal waiting for us and the cousins got busy playing together -- the part our kids would later say was the highlight of our vacation.

The next day, we loaded up our families and headed downtown for a walking tour.  The first stop was the capitol (the photo above was taken on the steps).  I think everyone's favorite part was the popcorn break on the lower level.  And, we had a perfect picnic on the lawn.  The weather was just right.  Beautiful spring days that feel even more luxurious at the end of a long winter.

(The kids enjoying the weather and the swingset in their cousins' huge backyard)

We walked the streets of downtown Denver, admiring the architecture, touring the Brown Palace (an ornate historic hotel), buying treats at the chocolate factory along the 16th Street Mall and riding escalators.  Simple pleasures.

Our final stop was the gift shop at the Denver Mint.  We had been unable to secure tickets for a tour, but the kids looked around and we bought a few souvenirs.

Then we were off the Casa Bonita, a Mexican restaurant with indoor cliff diving that was built in the 70s.  It was cheesy and a little rundown and the food was sub-par but the kids LOVED it, so we were glad we went.  At home that night, the older cousins had a slumber party.

The next day, we took the kids to a fabulous park where they played for hours in the sunshine.  Then we had a picnic (picnics are great for large groups I've decided) and headed to the Science and Nature Museum.

If you are going to Denver with kids, I highly recommend this place.  We spent hours in an exhibit exploring the human body, saw mummies, looked at live reptiles, roamed below towering dinosaurs and visited a space exhibit that has pretty much everything the Clarke Planetarium in Salt Lake has. 

After stopping back by the house for pizza, we all headed to Yogurt Land (or, Yogurt World?) so the kids could pile on whatever toppings they desired and eat sugar to their heart's content.

It was the perfect ending to the perfect vacation.

The next day, we drove home via Wyoming to save time.  It was about an hour faster, but Wyoming was so windy that we had to nix our plans to stop at a park and ate our lunch in the van instead.  I think the two different routes are a toss up as to which is better.  The kids did like to see the windmill farm though there wasn't very much else in the long stretches of driving in between.

We had a great time and mostly I loved how all of my kids were instant best friends with their cousins who they only get to see a few times a year. 

Thanks Can and James and family!