How Bold Are You Today?

When we lived in China, the Deseret News hired Brian to cover Gov. Huntsman's trade mission in Beijing. I, of course, hauled myself and the family along and was rewarded with a first-class stay at the Ritz Carlton.

Brian was detained around the clock documenting the Governor's every move. So, I took those kids, ages 5, nearly 4 and 1, and we spent our days exploring the city. Isaac rode in a baby backpack and Sophie and Ian took turns riding in the umbrella stroller I was pushing.

Nowadays, the very thought of such an excursion makes me have to go lie down from exhaustion. Who was that girl? Where did she get her energy?


(Isaac hanging upside down on daddy's back while we wait in line at a wedding reception)

Tonight, I snuggled Katie up in the ergo, put the other three on scooters and we headed over to the elementary school for a little carnival. Well, the other three were suppose to be on scooters, but, since Isaac had just woken up from an unexpected nap, I mostly carried his scooter and from time to time carried him and he cried the entire walk. I found myself wondering how many more years there are before I'm done hauling kids to school carnivals? I remembered the girl who had purposely ventured out into Beijing, only knowing three phrases in Chinese. Who was she anyways?
(Isaac and Izzy prepare to take Steve's car for a joyride)

We survived the slew of goodies and the long lines to play on inflatables and then began our leisurely walk back home. As I walked home, I remembered boarding an escalator with my three tiny children and my stroller in a crowded mall in Beijing and looking up to see a Levi's ad sporting some hot models and their pet alligator that posed the question, "How Bold Are You?"

Gee, I was feeling pretty jazzed up bold right at that moment and that statement, "How Bold Are You" resonated through my mind and helped me get through the day.

But, the more and more I thought about the question, the more and more I felt a little guilty for my pride. The more and more I realized that it took a lot more boldness to brave the quiet trials of motherhood when I had my first two babies a mere 20-months apart. When I often wondered if I was a complete failure and if anyone else had ever had such dark days of motherhood? Those lonely days took much more courage than a day in Beijing with three small children and all the high rollers from the trade mission standing around in their suits high-fiving me for my boldness.

(The kids [Sophie] enjoying an ice-cream sundae party to celebrate their completion of a marathon -- in which the parents -- mostly meaning me -- haul the kids to the track 26 times so that they can complete a mile each day)

(Then, said kids are finally rewarded with an ice-cream party and little trophies though sometimes it is even more of a marathon for the parents -- aka me -- to coax them into running a mile than it is for the kids to run a mile -- Lexy and Manthy pose with their trophies)

And, tonight, when I remembered those thoughts that I had on that day in Beijing, it brought me a little comfort. Because, I find that I'm kind of back to those long days when the baby is teething and the four-year-old is giving you a run for your money and so on and so forth.

And, even as I ask myself if the season of school carnivals and other such noisy and messy fiascos will ever end, I see a little old lady standing there all alone admiring my little ones, saying, "I miss the days when I was a young mother . . ."

Deep down inside, I know.

These are the days to remember.