On Parenting

I hesitate to write this because I don't want my son to be treated differently or stigmatized, but, my five-year-old son has some difficult behaviors. Out with it. Anyone who knows him at all knows that he is the sweetest, most creative character around. But, there are other things that have been hard to figure out. The on-going potty-training issues finally prompted me to visit the pediatrician. He connected the dots that the potty-training issues were probably related to other power struggles such as mealtimes, bedtimes, sibling relationships and rules in general. And, eventually, we sought professional help from a child psychologist to help Brian and I figure out how to be better parents to this unique child.

At our latest appointment, as the counselor was describing ways to put the hammer down, so to speak, on bad behaviors, I finally stopped, looked him in the eye and said, "You know, this is just non-stop misery for the parents." Because, inflicting non-stop misery on your kids to get them to behave really is non-stop misery for us, is it not? He very candidly and quickly replied, "Yes. Yes it is. It's one of the things they don't tell you when you sign up to be a parent, but, it's what you have to do."

I guess that's the way parenting is sometimes. Or, maybe most of the time. Towing the line. Playing hardball. Being the drill sargeant. Making them try new foods, practice their instruments, use manners, work, learn their times tables, be nice, have good hygiene, go to bed on time, and on, and on, and on.

And, figuring out how to enjoy the fleeting moments of their childhood through it all.