To Work of not to Work

(Photo of the sun by Brian:  Did you see the solar eclipse last night?)

For me, the decision to stay at home with my children was always a given.  My mom stayed home with us.  My friends' moms stayed home with them.  And, I was taught that raising my children was my divine calling in life.  

So, just like with the decision to have children in the first place,  I never spent a lot of time weighing the pros and cons and thinking about possible long term consequences to quitting my job.  I just quit it.  I did stress a little about the financial impact that had in that moment.  But, to me, there was no alternative.  I would stay home with my children no matter what.

And, that is what I did for 10 years, through thick and thin, no matter what.  I am forever grateful that I had those 10 years with my kids, and that time is priceless to me.

Then there came a time when I felt that the right thing for me to do was to make more money for our family.  Lots of moms have to work, no matter what they believe.  Luckily, a perfect opportunity opened up to me and I went to work for my neighbor as an assistant event planner.  

When I went back to work, something happened to me.  I became amazed that I had quit work without giving it much of a second thought all those years ago when Sophie was born.  For the first time, I understood that to be a stay at home mom is to place yourself willingly in one of the most vulnerable situations in the world.  It is to completely give up your professional life, lose your connections and skills and put all of your trust in another human being that he will take care of all of the finances, health insurance, a roof over your head, food and everything.  It is to relinquish all control and all security when it comes to finances.  

I began to worry about my daughters and what I should teach them.  The idea of leaving a tiny new infant in the care of another is something I am so thankful I never had to do.  It would have broken my heart for sure.  My boys were so attached to me that I barely left them anywhere, ever for the first year of their life.  What a luxury!  

But with all of the uncertainty in the world, how could I teach them that making this type of sacrifice was the right thing to do?  On the other hand, of course I wanted them to have kids.  Of course I wanted them to stay home with their babies the way my mom stayed home with me and the way I stayed home with them for 10 years.  I still believed it was the most important thing in the world.  It was very hard to reconcile my thoughts.

Until one day when I finally realized that we just have to hope for the best and prepare for the worst and trust that God will not forget us and, therefore, things will all work out even when they don't "work out."