Summer 2015 Winds Down

Looks like it's almost time to send these four back to school. It is with very mixed emotions, but I am trying to focus on the positive.

I feel a little sad that Sophie, my soon to be 9th grader expresses such a strong dislike for school. This is my child who absolutely loved school so much she couldn't stand to miss a single day right up until junior high began. It's not the academics she hates. All of her teachers love her, so I know she is respectful. I want to help her find a way to be happy. We have recently started discussing the option of transferring her to a charter school.

Ian, my soon to be 7th grader is excited to see what junior high is all about. I hope his experiences will be more positive.

Last February, I made the decision to pull Katie and Isaac out of their elementary school to homeschool them. The thing that surprised me most about this decision is all the FUN we had. We loved it and I was looking forward to homeschooling them for at least a full academic year.

I accepted a five-hour-per-week-work-from-home job that quickly turned into a fifteen-to-twenty-hour-per-week-please-come-to-the-office-when-you-can job.

I think when I said "yes" somewhere inside of me I knew this might happen. And, it did. And, it's good. It's a really good job and I think ultimately it is a better situation for my family.

It has been a summer of transition with the kids getting use to me being away more. Once school starts I can make my own schedule and work while they are at school (if you have to work, it doesn't get better than that). I absolutely love my office right on Historic 25th Street in Downtown Ogden. Every time I drive there I think about how blessed I am to have zero traffic on my beautiful commute. And, I work with the most incredibly positive, kind people I have ever met.

Awhile back (before the notion of homeschooling), I was looking ahead to the 2015-16 school year and wondering what I would do? I would only have one child left who was not in school (I am speaking here of a child I babysit). My income would drop. I kept wondering if I should go to work or enroll more children. For the first time in 14+ years since becoming a mother, all of my children would be in school all day opening the door to new possibilities.

After so many years of raising my kids and watching other peoples' kids, I figured the best skills I had were patience and nurturing. I had gone to the trouble to get my license. Lots of working moms need childcare. It seemed there were compelling reasons to go with growing the childcare business.

Then the decision to homeschool came along and that felt right. I figured it wouldn't be too tricky to homeschool two with a little friend (who I babysit) joining us. And, to write my weekly restaurant feature. And, when the opportunity presented itself, to work five-hours-per-week-from-home. I figured I could find one hour per day (but, definitely not two -- that was where I would have to draw the line).

At first when I saw the new job would be more than expected, I was determined to find a way to make the job plus homeschool work. I figured out how I could do it. It was nice to say to myself, "I really can do this if I want to and feel like it is the right thing." After I considered that for some time, I gave myself permission to not be the mayor of crazy town. To do that, I would have to decide to quit the job or send the kids back to school. Because, even though in theory my plan would work, it would only stay on track if everything went perfectly. There was no leeway for, let's say, illness, for example. If there is one thing I know about my life it is that it almost never goes as planned. Did I mention one of my greatest skills is also flexibility?

I thought and thought about what to do and I decided that, even though I didn't plan on this job, it is the direction I should be taking in my life right now. It was really hard to let go of the homeschool dream, but I am reassured by the fact that everyone has told me the teachers Katie and Isaac have for the upcoming school year are awesome.

I am so grateful for the few months we had together. I learned some things about them that I really needed to know. Like -- that the medicine Isaac was taking always made him fall asleep in the afternoon (his teacher had never once mentioned it and when I asked her about it, she said, "Oh yeah, he always falls asleep and I make him stand at his desk -- how miserable must that have been!?). We took him completely off the medicine and we have seen very little negative impact from that -- a huge benefit for everyone.

I also learned that Katie needs some extra attention when it comes to reading and math. I was cruising right along assuming she was getting everything she needed because that is how it went the first three times around. We have spent the past six months focusing on reading and just last month made some giant strides forward.

I am grateful for the extra time, the extra outings and for getting to see my children's brilliant minds at work up close and personal during a small window in our lives.

I am mourning the end of summer (I always do) and getting use to the change of plans. I keep telling myself that once school starts I will probably love it so much I won't even know what to do. Maybe these awesome teachers have something they need to give my little ones that I am not capable of giving them.

If we all hate it, I can always pull them out again and figure out how to make homeschool happen.

Time will tell. Meanwhile, I do look forward to fall which is perhaps my favorite season with its cooling temperatures, stunning sunsets and all around dazzling colors. Maybe my house will be clean again. Maybe I will renew my commitment to go to the gym. Life is one big present waiting to be unwrapped.