Solitude

Sometimes, amidst all of the questions and requests and stories and 'mommy look at me's', I start to daydream about what it use to be like to have my own thoughts.  I mean, I love these moments.  Sometimes my ears just get tired.  Or, I'm trying to drive someplace and I don't know how to get there or cook while reading a recipe or compose a grocery list or reflect on how I'm going to get one child to his preschool graduation and another child to a baseball game at the same time.

I've been trying to get my tires rotated.  I got the tires at Costco and I've been in twice this month, but, both times the wait was longer than I was willing to brave with the kids in tow. On Monday morning, the 3rd grade hike was cancelled due to inclement weather (aka snow in May) and not wanting to waste a perfectly good babysitting trade, I headed solo to Costco where I was told my tires would be rotated in 1.5 hours.

I knew that shopping around would only cause me to spend 100s of dollars.  One pass by a table of darling organic cotton baby girl PJs confirmed that suspicion.  Instead I headed over to the elusive massage chair for a demo.  My head was dizzy with the notion of a whole 1.5 hours alone with my thoughts.  "Quick!  Think about something important!"  I demanded to myself. My mind raced for a few minutes, but, I couldn't really pinpoint any important thoughts.  So, I just relaxed and thought about nothing except how the "heat" option really made the massage chair even more awesome and about the display of energy efficient, water saving toilets right in front of me.  I figured that the toilet ($95) would really be a great addition to our house since it had a "soft closing lid" and the toilet seat being dropped and slammed down puts Brian's nerves on edge.  Come to think of it, the massage chair, actually a cushion to fasten over a chair ($99) would also be welcome.   But, alas, I'd already spent all of my money for the month, so neither would be coming home with me that day.

Tonight, I was reading a recipe and cooking dinner while texting Brian about how we were going to get Ian to his baseball game at the exact same time as Isaac's preschool graduation. Isaac was on the kitchen floor next to me putting a giant bug puzzle together and asking me all sorts of questions like:

"If frogs eat flies and spiders eat flies, do frogs also eat spiders?"

"Do some ants pinch spiders?"

"Do some spiders eat ants?"

And, about 45 variations of the above.

While we are on the topic of deep thoughts by Isaac, I just want to add that last week he asked if Jesus created Santa Claus since He created everything and if the earth is spinning then why don't the cars go upside down while they are driving down the road?

But, back to the story of tonight:

There I was reading a recipe, cooking on three burners, coordinating with hubby via text, and fielding questions when, Brian decided to call so we could talk instead of texting.  While holding the phone, I accidentally slopped a bunch of food I was cooking from the pot onto the already messy stovetop.  Just then, Ian's friend who was over to play came in and said his mom was here and he had to go.  Of course by this point, I was ignoring Isaac's questions causing him to become obliviously frustrated and say "mom" with increasing volume over and over until finally I hung up the phone and said "WHAT?" in a rather loudish voice. 

Using this loudish voice caused me to pause and reflect upon what was happening here.  And, I thought back to yesterday and how I was able to have my thoughts all to myself for a morning.  

I decided that having my own thoughts is overrated compared to a rousing discussion about entomology with my four-year-old.