How was your May? I have to say, I haven't really minded the weather. It's been rather pleasant I think, although, snow at the end of May was a little odd.
With the end of the school year came recitals, choir concerts, assemblies and chaperoning fieldtrips galore. Brian ran a marathon. Katie Jane turned one. We planted a garden. My mother in law said that May is more busy than December when you have kids because we aren't expecting it to be so busy the way we are expecting the holiday rush. I wonder if she is right?
Sophie and Ian started baseball which means we have had games four nights per week and practices on two more. It's busy, but, they love it and the coaches are amazing. It only lasts for seven weeks.
I realized earlier this week that Brian and I hadn't had a night out in over a month. I was starting to feel pretty burned out. We agreed to go out on Friday night and I was counting down the days. A date at the Cheesecake Factory got me to start unwinding. The date was great, the food a little rich for my liking, and the key lime cheesecake was a little slice of heaven. A yoga class followed by a quiet Saturday morning to get caught up on some writing put me in a deeper state of relaxation. Then, my mom picked me up and we spent the whole day together. I finally got to use some gift cards I got for my birthday and I found my new favorite shirt.
All of that was followed by the steaks on hot rocks at a friend's house, and, well, I'm finally feeling brave enough to face summer vacation.
Lately I'm feeling very inadequate to raise four kids. My mom raised four kids and I asked her seriously how she did it? I feel like, on the one hand, I don't want my kids to get one minute older because I love this moment so much and at the exact same time I need some peace and quiet and/or a nap. I'm trying to figure out the balance so I can enjoy my kids more without feeling so overwhelmed all the time. My mom said the secret is finding one thing that is just for me to look forward to each day. I'm thinking I need to take more breaks. Like a date night every week for starters. What have you found that works to ease the burnout of the non-stop-wouldn't-trade-it-for-the-world job of mom?
8 comments:
I make sure I get enough sleep. No matter what. I used to think that sleep was for wimps. But there's no point in being a martyr. No one has to be that busy. Who cares if the house gets a little messy in the process. Sleep works wonders for me.
I'd love to do the hot rock thing at home. They have a restaurant here that does that, and it IS delicous. Now I have a new quest....:)
Hire a maid? I dream of doing this. =) I wish I had some good advice, but you know much more than me. I am trying to figure out how to raise my little ones over here, and all I can figure out is that sometimes I need to care just a little bit less about how fantastically I'm doing my job. Odds are, I'm doing just fine, and I know you are, too. So maybe be a little easy on yourself. Whatever falls short of your ideals or standards is still probably perfectly fine to everyone else that matters. What I'm trying to say is: Amy, I think you're an amazing mom and admire so much all that you do for your family. Date night and de-stressing and alone time and friend time all are great. You are wonderful so don't you dare think you're not measuring up as a mom.
Your mom's advice is amazing. I think I always do that. Choose something to look forward to that is satisfying for me but then I felt bad for looking forward to it so much. But now I don't. Now I am so glad. It is true. It try to schedule lunches or dinners or temple nights or whatever with friends for some adult conversation. My family also does "family fun night" on Fridays. At first it was my ploy just to get my husband to stop working on Friday nights. But now it is something my family looks forward to. We don't try to paint the town red or teach our kids anything, a lot of times it is dinner and a movie or something lazy like that. I just know that I get to just sit and enjoy.
Okay, and I am careful who I tell (like posting it on your comments for the world to see :). I just assume all your readers are as nice as you) but... I finally came to terms with the fact that there are many things that I do well. But cleaning my house is not one of them. A couple of girls that I know that are AMAZING moms (and friends and people in general) hired someone to help them clean and swear by it. I tried it out and my life has changed. Though my house can get messy from top to bottom in about 15 minutes, I can finally feel good knowing that at least my toilets are clean. I can also use my energy to do all the picking up and other stuff I didn't have before. It took a lot for me to give in and I still find myself wondering if I am wasting my money. But, like I told my dad, "I would go work for $10 an hour to pay someone to clean for $15 an hour." Knowing that my house will be clean at least one day a week has done wonders for me.
But, even with those things to make me feel better, I still feel guilty and wonder all the time how I can do better.
And that is the longest comment I have ever seen!
We used to have date night every Saturday and it was HEAVEN! I highly recommend it. One day we will go back to that and I cannot wait!
I asked my mom how she raised 4 kids once and she said she just didn't know any better.
I think the best thing for you to do is just remember that you ARE a wonderful mother and your kids wouldn't trade you for anything.
Love you!
Hi Amy, Love your recent posts. I have had a steak cooked on a hot rock before! I loved it as well. But mine was from a restaurant. That is so cool you had it at a friends house!
What has helped me? Lowering my expectations. :) Seriously. You do such a great job. I'm so happy that you took some time for yourself. Yoga, yummy dinners and dates...way to go! Keep it up! You deserve it. A mother of young children is in such demand all day and night. It is exhausting physically and emotionally. But, we can do it. And it will be over before we know it. See you bright and early!
Ok. here it is.... every day I have to have a slice of amazing key lime pie. (hah!)
My morning exercise is in pretty high demand, because sometimes it seems like the only thing I make sure and do for ME. But then, some days this most certainly does not feel like enough!!
I can't think of anything... All of these other comments are great though.
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