Back to my Happy Place

Ahhhh . . . summer. After the crush of activity in May--wrapping up the end of the school year with performances, assemblies, recitals, BBQs and all that good stuff--summer has been a pure delight. We sleep in a little every day and slide into our morning routine slowly. We still have piano and swim lessons and summer gymnastics and merit badge classes and from time to time scout camp and girls camp and youth conference. But, things are so much more laid back without school, homework, sports, plays, etc. It is so nice to break out of our usual routine for a few months.

There was a time when I loved to get up and get going with my day by 5 or 6 am. Now my life feels like all I do is stay on the go. So, I cherish every opportunity I have to be still.

At the start of the summer, Ian said, "Mom, can we please go lots of places together this summer?" I was so touched that my 6-foot-tall 13-year-old wants to spend time with his family. I have tried my best to honor this request. I feel like this summer is really special. It might be the last summer I have when all four of my kids still enjoy going on adventures together.

Things are changing. It is so different with Sophie having a summer job. I am happy that Lagoon only schedules her 2-3 days per week. I wouldn't want her to be gone any more than that. It is also nice that she has something to keep her busy and she loves earning money and feeling independent.

Things are changing. Even though Ian requested that we go to all of our favorite places together, I think he is realizing as we go to them that he is growing up. My kids love Classic Waterslides. It is a tiny, run-down waterpark in Riverdale. I have always seen it that way. It wasn't until this summer that Ian saw it that way too, and the realization disappointed him. I think something about a child's imagination makes places like that more magical than they really are. Then we all grow up.

For the most part, my two oldest are great sports about going places with the family. We had an absolutely delightful evening in June with the whole family at The Leonardo in Salt Lake. We learned cool science facts and played with a concave mirror that turned us all upside down. We experimented with electricity, sound waves, 3-D coding, stop motion animation, optical illusions, sensory illusions, messed around with a green screen, drew self portraits and colored part of a giant mural that covered the four walls of a huge room. We learned about homelessness, the properties of water, human rights and built things at the enormous Lego table and then built more things out of enormous Legos. It was beautiful to me to see all of my family there together, interacting with each other while we explored.

We dined at Noodles & Co. before we returned home. There was almost a crisis because they were out of elbow noodles for Katie and Isaac's mac n' cheese. But, then they both had an epiphany that their mac n' cheese really would taste OK made with a different shape of noodle. It was a wonderful evening start to finish.

We had another fun adventure last week. Ian needed to visit the Capitol in Salt Lake for a merit badge so I contacted a dear friend from my college days and we met to take all eight of our kids on an adventure. First we explored the Capitol, taking in the view from all four levels. The kids were amazed by the grandeur of the marble staircases. We made crayon rubbings together on the main floor and walked around the outside of the building.

Next, we visited the Salt Lake library to appreciate the interesting architecture. We rode the fast glass elevators to the top level and took a tour of the rooftop garden before playing in the waterfall fountain.

Last, we enjoyed some time at Liberty Park. The kids played on the playground and ran around the splash pad. Then, we walked to the concrete water feature that is constructed to represent the canyons and rivers of Utah. It felt as if the kids were playing in a giant puddle. It made them happy. And, it was so wonderful to spend time with my friend who I hadn't seen in years.

Now, I diverge into a very long story about my complicated relationship to exercise.

My love for going to the gym began in high school when my best friend and I would go to Ogden Athletic Club to workout. Her dad had a family membership and she took me along as her guest. We felt so grown up going to the gym by ourselves and I really loved working out with her.

When Sophie was a baby, a friend and I got memberships together to Ogden Athletic Club. I have often thought back to that time and marveled at my dream life. The way the daycare at OAC works is you check your child in from 8:30-10:30 or 10:30-12:30. We usually shot for the earlier time, but in honesty we went later at least half the time. We could work out for a full hour then take our time showering and getting ready for the day while our babies played happily in the nursery. Who cared if we were at the gym until 12:30? We were stay at home moms with one baby each. There was no school, no homework, no lessons . . . no schedule. Sometimes after we finished at the gym we would go to my house or hers and eat lunch together. Because we could. And, because we were way too poor to go to a restaurant. Our lives were so relaxed and easy. Did I even appreciate it? I think I did. But, I am sure I did not appreciate it enough. I had no way to comprehend that three years later I would be caring for six kids ages 0-5 (two babies, two toddlers and two pre-schoolers). My life was headed for crazy and I had no idea. I like to think back to the simplicity of that earlier time in motherhood.

When Ian was three months old, I took him to the nursery at OAC for his first time and he caught RSV and spent the rest of the winter battling colds and ear infections. Needless to say, I cancelled my membership and never took him back. That is when I switched to Gold's Gym because it was closer to my house and less expensive. That is when I started waking up at 5:30 am to workout before anyone else in the house was awake. And that worked really well for me for about 10-years.

I'm not sure what happened to me because one thing I know for sure is: I LOVED going to the gym. It was my "me" time. It energized me. I felt so blah when I missed a workout. For the first year or two  at Gold's, I would sweat on the elliptical while reading a magazine or watching the news. Then, a couple of ladies asked if they could join me. Michelle and Monica became two of my dearest lifelong friends. For the short period in my life when I was a runner (when Sophie was 2 and Ian was 1), Monica was my running buddy. She is such a cool lady. She and her husband just moved their family to Peru where he will serve as a mission president for the next three years. What an adventure!

And, Michelle really became my best friend. We spent our time at the gym equal parts working out and talking about all the different stages our kids were going through and just figuring out life together. Those talks at the gym helped me so much. There were times when they were truly my saving grace.

When our friendship began, Michelle lived right around the corner from me. Then, she moved into a bigger house still close by. When we upgraded to a bigger house 4.5 years ago, it was right up the street from Michelle. I was very excited for that! But, only a few months after we moved in, Michelle and her family moved to New Mexico for a new job. It has been a great loss to me to have Michelle gone from my life. Even though they have been in New Mexico for 4 years and they bought a house there, they never sold their house here, so, when she comes to town we always meet up for a morning walk. I thought Michelle and I would grow old taking morning walks together. At least we have those few times per year.

I am sure that loss contributed to my loss of love for the gym. After having workout buddies for so many years, I found it impossible to go to the gym alone. On the bright side, I soon found another dear friend, Jodi, to be my gym buddy.

I used to love getting up early to start my day. Michelle and I would wake up at 5:30 to get to the gym a little before 6 am for our workout, but we could never bring ourselves to make it in time for the 5:30 am classes.

Jodi and I did go to the 5:30 am classes and we loved them! Body pump is a great class that we could go to on Mon, Wed, Fri and there were some awesome high intensity cardio classes on Tues, Thurs. I also loved the Saturday morning yoga class.

Then, they moved the 5:30 am classes to 5:15 am. We had been getting up at 5 am. We had to start setting our alarms for 4:45 am. I learned that 5 am is where I draw the line. There is something not right about getting up in the 4 am hour to start your day. I was so tired in the evenings right when it was time to put my kids to bed. Even though I enjoyed the mornings, the resulting evenings became miserable.

We tried to remedy the problem by going to the 6:15 am classes instead. But, those classes were just crazy to me. We had to do things like put an elastic band around our waist and have someone pull on it while we ran around the track. Say what? I am so pleased with myself when I run around the track. I don't need added resistance pulling me backwards, you know what I mean? We had to hold heavy weights over our heads and lunge all the way around the track (that particular exercise session injured my back), or one of us would do a jillion push ups while the other person jumped back and forth over the body of the person doing push ups. We had to hop across the room on one foot or jump on every step up and down a long staircase over and over. It was the perfect class for a four year old because they do all of those things for fun all day every day. But, it was not my cup of tea.

Anyways . . . I don't know if it was Michelle leaving, or the time change of the 5:30 am classes to 5:15 am, or me getting older, or my kids getting older (and staying up later and later at night), or just plain old fashioned burnout. I don't know. But, I started to hate going to the gym. And, I mean, I started to HATE it. I would feel anxious at night when going to bed if the next day was a gym day. I was always thinking up ways to get out of going and Jodi and I were both cancelling more than half the time. We were only showing up one or two times a week. Also, the yoga class got a new instructor and it was more like yoga aerobics. No thank you.

Two years ago, I couldn't handle the stress of it anymore. I did not want to get up so early. I did not want to keep making myself do something that I didn't want to do. Instead of feeling energized on days I went to the gym, I felt grumpy and tired. I could not understand this compete turn around in my attitude. I wanted to love going to the gym. But, I didn't. So, I cancelled my membership. For the first time since Sophie was a baby, I wasn't a gym member. I missed seeing Jodi, but I didn't miss the workouts. I figured I needed a change. I told myself I would take walks outdoors, maybe even hike. I told myself I would go to yoga classes at the studios downtown. I told myself I could workout in the evenings if I wanted to. I figured if I gave myself a break, I would start to miss working out like I had always missed it in the past. Maybe I would even become a morning person again if I didn't push so hard.

But, those things didn't happen. I didn't miss working out. I loved sleeping in more than I ever imagined I could. Time passed and I never got into a new routine. Every few months I would try to force myself. But, it wouldn't stick. I knew I needed to exercise, but I couldn't find my love, or even a faint like, for it.

I kept thinking that I needed to do yoga. But, yoga classes are expensive at a studio. And, I couldn't find a time of day that worked for me. I didn't want to get up early. Also, I did get up early (6:15 am) during the school year so I could take Sophie to early morning seminary. I didn't want to get up earlier. And, I didn't want to workout after I dropped her off because then it was time to get the other kids up and going for the day. All four of my kids had to be driven to different schools every morning (Katie only 2 days a week since we were doing homeschool the other 3 days). It wasn't good timing anymore for a morning workout. After the three older kids were out the door, then it was my homeschooling time with Katie. Then, work. And, on the days Katie went to school I went into the office. I didn't want to workout in the evenings because that is when the crush of the day really began. These were the roadblocks standing in my way in addition to my zero motivation.

A few weeks ago, I thought about going back to Ogden Athletic Club to check it out. It is a 15-minute drive from my house, but it is family friendly. Gold's Gym doesn't really allow anyone under 18 (unless they are really young and in the nursery).

I was so happy when I went and I discovered they had just completed a remodel to make their facility even more family friendly! They gave me a 7-day trial pass. While I worked out, Katie and Isaac played in three supervised rooms. One has a gigantic play land with three really fast slides. Another has basketball, indoor soccer, or other similar organized games. The third room is the lounge where there is a movie showing, a climbing wall, and tables where they can do art projects.

Upstairs there is a family lounge where Sophie and Ian can go hang out (unless they are working out with me which is also allowed) or where our whole family can go together. There is a pool table, ping pong, shuffle board, air hockey and a big flat screen t.v. with couches.

I was so excited when I found out there are 10 yoga classes offered throughout the week. A morning and evening class on Mon-Thurs and morning classes on Fri-Sat. I was even more excited when I started going to the yoga classes and I LOVED them!!! One thing I have learned is that yoga classes are not created equally. They can be a gamble, especially in a gym setting. But, these classes are relaxing, restoring and build my strength, balance and flexibility gently. I have been to five classes in just over a week and all have been heavenly.

Now I don't feel guilty for leaving the kids and going to the gym because I take the kids with me! They have a great time playing while I go to an awesome yoga class. Then, we all swim together. They have an outdoor and an indoor pool. The pools have lifeguards! Since all of my kids can swim the length of the pool independently, I can sneak away to the hot tub or the steam room for a few minutes knowing that a lifeguard is right there and the pools are never crowded. We all take a quick shower after our swim, so there is one more thing out of the way in our day.

It has been such a delight going to the Ogden Athletic Club. When I am there, I remember my high school visits with Nichole and taking baby Sophie swimming in the 1-foot-deep pool with Trisha and her baby and those memories make me happy. It makes me think about what a blessed life I have had and reminds me that what I am doing now will someday be my cherished memories. I am finally looking forward to exercise again and that is a very, very good feeling. I hope I can keep this momentum. And, this time around, I am definitely appreciating it.