Enjoying the Journey

A friend of mine has three gorgeous daughters, all with shiny brown locks and chocolate eyes and all beautiful in their own unique ways.

One time when Sophie was one-year-old, and my friend's daughters were 3, 5 & 7, I decided to take them to the Treehouse Children's Museum.

We were sitting quietly in the art garden working on some drawings (did I mention that these sweet girls are also fabulously well behaved?) and someone came up to me and asked me if all four girls were mine.  I explained that they were not.  

In my mind, I thought, "I wish they were."

For one thing, that would mean I had birthed four children and looked awesome (I had just lost the post-baby weight and gotten back into my skinny jeans).  They really were a delightful group.  And, four girls - Can you imagine?

For another thing, that would have meant I had already endured four pregnancies and was now reaping the rewards of enjoying my four kids.  "How wonderful it would be," I thought, "to be done with pregnancy."

Sophie's pregnancy had been pretty tough, and, it was just the tip of the iceburg.

But, here I am now.  With four kids.  Done with pregnancies.  And, in some ways it is a relief, but, in other ways, it is sad.  

I guess all those years ago, when I was daydreaming about the day I would be done, I was just thinking about all the challenges and discomforts of pregnancy.  I wasn't appreciating the anticipation and joy.

The other day, my mom took my Pappa to Smith and Edwards because it is one of his favorite stores.  He walked up and down the aisles looking things over, picking things up and putting them back down.  He usually likes to buy things when he goes shopping.  But, this time he didn't make a single purchase.  "I guess I've got enough stuff already," he said.  

And, I've been thinking about that.  To live 86-years and wake up one morning and realize you have everything you've ever needed and ever wanted.  

I was organizing the children's books the other day and I thought about how I started collecting them  when I was just a teenager.  How exciting it was to see the list of titles grow.  By the time I became a mom I had about twenty books.  I would go to bookstores and buy up my favorites one at a time.  

Goodnight Moon

The Little Mouse, The Red Ripe Strawberry and The Big Hungry Bear

Harold's Purple Crayon

The Very Hungry Caterpillar

The Snowy Day

We joined a bookclub and added the Dr. Seuss Classics.  I bought educational reads at Usborne parties.

When the kids went to school, I would get so excited every time they brought home a book order - circling all of my favorites with a highlighter and then buying the best deals.  My mom bought us rows and rows of chapter book classics at yard sales.  I still love books, but, I've come to realize that we finally have enough.  Our bookshelf is full.  There are plenty of titles to choose from.  Now, I send most of the bookorder forms to the recycling bin.  

As I was organizing the books the other day, I thought about how fun the anticipation was when I was just beginning my collection.  Back then, it seemed like a huge library would be the ultimate.  But, it turns out the journey was sure a lot of fun.

Then, I thought about our family and how I didn't even realize it so much while it was happening, or, I at least didn't appreciate it until the third baby and even more by the fourth -- but, as it turns out, the anticipation of bringing a new person in the world really is one of the best parts of life.

And having them here is pretty nice too.