A New Place in the Desert

Sometimes it takes awhile to realize that your own brother is one of the coolest people in the world. At least in your world.

I wasn't especially close to my siblings growing up. So, perhaps that is why it has taken a few years (a lot of years really) to forge the bonds of friendship as adults. I loved my sister-in-law, Hollie, from the first time I met her. She was eighteen, or was it nineteen? I can't remember, but in her young eyes, I was ancient at twenty-six. She was mature beyond her years with lots of big plans for her future. And, she loved my brother, and he loved her. I think that out of all the couples I know, they just might be the most in love of all.

They got married and had two beautiful brown-eyed children. I loved their family, but, I think it took us awhile to grow into each others' worlds if that makes sense. I'm not sure exactly what it was, but this I know --

In the fall of 2009, they finished construction on a beautiful new home a few miles from my home and it became a warm gathering spot for family and friends. Upstairs, there were computers and toys galore for the kids, and downstairs there was an ample table and bar for our potlucks and a spacious front room full of plush couches and a projector and screen on one wall for Rock Band.

They hosted numerous parties and get togethers (including the 2010 and 2011 New Year's Eve gatherings). Hollie, is so artsy and she used the space to put together fun headbands, beautiful etched glass, jewelry and unique sewing projects.

Then, the best part of our relationship happened. They enrolled their first grader, Logan, in the same Montessori school where I enrolled Isaac. Hollie and I decided to split up the days for driving the kids home. I loved this arrangement because I was able to get to know my precocious nephew better during the drives home. His ability to read is outstanding and he used such big, flowery words and so much enthusiasm to read me stories or tell me about his day. One day, he turned to another girl in our carpool with eyes lit up and said, "Wow Abby, that shirt is sparkle-licious!" Always so positive and complimentary.

The other part that I loved was that, on the days when Hollie brought Isaac home, she would stay, sometimes for a few hours, and we would visit. I loved how our kids became close friends as they ran willy nilly through the house and the yard. It reminded me of the way things were between my cousins and me when I was a kid. This is how I finally really got to know my sister-in-law, our worlds finally merged, she realized I wasn't that old after all, and we became good friends.

Then, we started swapping kids for overnighters and all of those wonderful things that close knit families do. My kids started asking when Logan and Anna could come and play. I didn't even realize how special all of it was and how much I had grown to love and admire my brother and his family until two weeks ago when my brother got offered a job in Arizona. He accepted the job on a Friday, and, just like that, he drove to Tucson on Sunday and started work on Monday. I figured it would take a little while for them to find a house and move the rest of the family, but, again I was surprised when they announced they were moving this weekend. So, this morning we ate breakfast with them and waved "goodbye" to their family as they pulled away with all of their things packed in a U-haul.

I'd like to think that I will be spending the rest of my winters in their guest room in Arizona (I wish - hello winter sunshine). But, the reality is that I'm really sad to lose having them close by. And, mostly I am sad for our kids because I know how kids live right in the moment and their closeness will soon be forgotten.

Sophie just told me she is going to miss playing "Insaniquarium" on their computer. Logan says he is going to miss our iPad most of all. But, I think what we are all going to miss is each other.

If we hadn't gotten so much closer over the past year, it wouldn't feel like such a huge loss.

But, it's better this way, I think.