Isaac Turned 11 in a Big Way

Isaac turned 11 and since his actual birthday was on Sunday, my mom decided to make a special dinner for him. Usually when she makes a birthday dinner for someone, she takes requests or surprises them with their favorite foods.

Isaac is so picky that about the only foods he will eat are: chips with cheese, macaroni and cheese and cheese quesadillas (Brian and I are endlessly trying to explain to him why these are all basically the same food). Once in awhile he will accept a taco, hot dog, cheeseburger or green smoothie. I know the last one seems out of place on this list, but it's true.

My mom is so fabulous that she hatched a plan to serve Isaac chips and cheese for his birthday dinner. She just included a bunch of other amazing toppings (like sweet pork and homemade guacamole) for the rest of us. At last, Isaac could be served a big plate of his favorite food at Sunday dinner instead of having to sit at the table staring at a plate of food he hates for 1/2 hour before someone gives in and makes him a plate of chips and cheese like usual.

He is really into Legos and wanted one of those giant $100 Lego sets. I say giant, but in reality, all Lego sets are tiny when you take out the bricks and build what is pictured. He has one million Legos already and he has to keep them spread over his entire bedroom floor. Every once in awhile, I ruin his life by cleaning them up so I can vacuum. It ruins his life because he has to be able to see all of them all the time, so he quickly scatters them all over the floor again. It takes me over an hour to clean them up (it would take him months because when he cleans them up he has to build a tiny Lego digger that scoops them up one at a time and drives them to the "dump") so--it was a little hard to buy him more Legos. My parents and Brian and I went in together on the big police station set for him because we knew it would make him so happy and there are only so many years of life when you can make your kids that happy by buying them a toy. The Lego madness continues!

On Sunday, he got the giant Lego set and chips and cheese for dinner and cheesecake with candles for dessert. Also, Sunday morning he woke up to a giant stuffed Mario. You know the really giant ones that you can win at amusement parks? Sophie went to an after hours games party at Lagoon where she works and won one and she is so sweet she wanted to give it to Isaac. Lately, he has been asking me to buy him a stuffed Mario and Luigi. It was a very good surprise when he woke up on his birthday to find giant Mario sitting at the table waiting for him. Now whenever someone rings the doorbell, Isaac grabs Mario and hides behind the door while Mario "opens it" and greets whoever is there.

We decided to throw a giant shindig for Isaac's birthday party. In my mind, there were twelve party guests. We made a list of about 9-10 boys from school who he wanted to invite. Somehow the list grew from there and without even realizing it, we must have invited 35 people and they ALL showed up!

I think I meant to put on the invite that the party was from 7:30pm-10pm, but instead I put 7pm-10:30pm -- A 3 1/2 hour party!? With 35 wild and crazy 10-year-old guests?

We survived. It was memorable. Isaac got lots more Legos.

Brian made some awesome Lego City invitations. We rented a colorful bounce house and inflatable slide. I bought everything lego that I could find from Oriental Trading including awesome lego wallets and lego bracelets for the party favor bags. There were 24-bags which I thought would be way too many. The favors came in twelves and I considered buying one set (because in my mind there were 12 people at the party). I decided to buy two sets in the end because what if there were 13? Hahahahaha.

I also had 24 plates and cups and only 24 cupcakes since I accidentally dumped a pan of 12 of the 36 I was baking and when it happened I thought, "Oh well, 24 will be plenty." After everyone arrived, it was clear I was going to be short. Brian said, "Do you want me to run to the store?" I said, "Please don't leave me." Because having that many crazy kids running through your yard going from trampoline to bounce house to night games that encompass the backyard and the front yard and sometimes the street after dark is a very overwhelming responsibility. Luckily, my mom was able to go to the store for more food, cupcakes and supplies -- most importantly cups -- and bring them to us. You do not want to run short on cups with a big crowd of thirsty kids on a hot August night.

In the end the party was saved and even though it felt like a long 3.5 hours at the time (it was a long 3.5 hours because the bounce house was at my house all day and there were lots of kids playing on it in a loud and rambunctious way long before the very long party ever began) -- despite it being a pretty big undertaking -- I couldn't stop thinking how nice it was that 35 people showed up to Isaac's party. Having friends is pretty much the best.

I am Fiercely Protective of my Kids

The boys came back from scout camp on cloud nine. Isaac proclaimed that it was the best week of his life. He wished he could spend the whole summer there. No, he wished he could spend the whole school year there (because the school year is longer than the summer, he explained).

The next day at church, so many parents told me how grateful they were for Ian setting the tone. The scout leader said it was the best group of boys he has worked with out of all his years of going to scout camp. I am proud of Ian and his big heart for his part in making scout camp a wonderful place for all the boys. He was the oldest in attendance, and therefore, the patrol leader.

One of the boys in the group is a little more on the autism spectrum than Isaac and I am sure his off-beat behavior could have made him the target of ridicule or led to him being excluded. His parents were especially complimentary of Ian's good example.

Earlier this week, I sent Sophie off to girls' camp with the ward. I am proud of her for working this summer. It is a lot of responsibility to take on at fifteen and she has handled it beautifully. She only gets a limited number of days that she can request off. Brian and I encouraged her to request off the days for youth conference and girls' camp, which she did.

She got the pre-camp jitters that I'm sure most teenagers get. She wondered if she would feel a part of the group. She doesn't have any good friends in the ward. I assured her that she would find her niche and make happy memories.

I was wrong.

She called me on the second day in tears asking me to come pick her up. I asked her what was wrong, expecting to hear any number of complaints that I would have encouraged her to work through. Like, maybe it was too hot or the ground was difficult to sleep on or the bathrooms were stinky. She briefly explained that when they arrived on day one, the girls were divided into two tents -- one for beehives and one for miamaids and laurels. As a second year miamaid, she was of course assigned to the older tent and set her things up as instructed. When she came to bed that night, she and one other girl discovered that their things had been moved to the beehive tent so that two younger girls could take their places.

I was livid. I cut her off after two sentences and said, "I will be right there."

It made me sad when I found out her things were dragged carelessly through the dirt and some of her things were missing (i.e. sleeping bag stuff bag) and she spent over an hour searching for them, feeling frustrated the whole time, before giving up. I was surprised to learn that the following day (when she was looking for her things) she told the leaders what had happened (she was too stunned and too hurt to say anything the night before) and apparently no one felt that the situation warranted a chat about -- I don't know -- maybe something like the things we learn every week in church such as love, kindness and charity. And, how moving someone out of the tent without even discussing it does not emulate those things and that these lessons are more than just words we say on Sunday. But, something we practice in real life everywhere we go and no place more so than at a camp with our ward sisters.

I put myself in her shoes. I thought about the girls' getaway I went to three years ago with adult members of this ward. We stayed at a beautiful house in the Ogden Valley with an indoor swimming pool. There were five private bedrooms where all the new moms stayed with their babies. Then there was one giant room with about 10 bunkbeds where the rest of us slept. When I arrived, I chose a bunk and placed my things on the bed. I tried to imagine how I would have felt if I had come downstairs to go to bed and discovered that my things had been moved so the other ladies could "be by their friends." I would have been humiliated and devastated to not be considered cool enough to be part of their friend group. I am a 40-year-old woman and I would have felt, to say the least, left out. I can only imagine how such treatment feels to an insecure teenager who is trying her best to fit in.

We gathered her things and I brought her home and none of the leaders have seemed too concerned about that. I might think that they would recognize that the situation was so hurtful that she didn't want to remain at girls' camp even if they don't deduce that her father and I felt like it was a hostile environment where she couldn't be left. It's not like we are the kind of parents who pick our kids up from a week-long camp because they stubbed their toe.

In fact, Brian is a 100% stickler about all of the kids going to all of their meetings, activities, firesides etc. no matter what. But, after this, he told Sophie she never has to go to girls' camp again if she doesn't want to. I have only seen him this mad a handful of times in our lives together.

I'm not trying to fault the leaders. I am grateful that they would give up their week to be away from their jobs, homes and families to take the girls camping. I understand this is a huge sacrifice and I am sure there is much drama with a large group of teenage girls.

I know that there are two sides to every story and I know that even though I love my daughter deeply she has a very big personality that sometimes leads her to problems with peers while she is still figuring life out. I don't fault the other girls because I know that they are not fully formed adults but teenagers who are trying to figure life out and that the adolescent years can be fraught with selfishness and lacking in empathy as part of the journey. I'm not blaming the parents, because I know that we all try to do our best and we cannot control everything our kids do when they go out into the world and make their choices. Brian asked me if we should talk to the leaders, or the parents or even the girls and I said "no." While I do believe that somewhere twenty years down the road these girls might have a flash of memory and a moment when they realize, "Hey, that was really mean!" I don't think talking to them will truly change their hearts. And, changing their hearts is the only thing that could really benefit Sophie at future activities. Because this is part of a pattern of behavior rather than an isolated incident.

It is what it is and it is too bad that the other girls couldn't find it in their hearts to be more inclusive and put their ward sisters' feelings above their need to have their friends in their tent. But, it is what it is and even though I had high hopes when Sophie turned twelve and entered young womens' that it would be a supportive place to help her get through the difficult teenage years, two years into it, it is obvious that goal will not be achieved.

One thing I do know is that Sophie, with all of her strengths and all of her weaknesses, would not treat another person that way. Like Ian, she has always had a huge heart and for that I am grateful.

Scout Camp 2016

I sent these three off to scout camp at 5:30 this morning and my heart was full. I am so happy that my three boys get to spend an entire week in the mountains together.

Isaac is technically not a part of boy scouts for four more weeks. But, since Brian is the assistant scout master, he paid for him to join the troop at camp this year. It is Ian's last year before moving up the ranks. I am so happy they all three get to go together this once.

Isaac was so excited. I don't know if I have ever seen him more stoked about anything in his entire life.

Since he turned 8, he has resisted participating in scouts. He has given me so much grief every week about attending the activities. About 6-months ago, I told Brian I couldn't take the weekly fighting anymore that always left us both frustrated and only resulted in him actually making it to scouts about half the time. I told him that Isaac's continued participation in scouts was in his court.

That is when he told Isaac that if he went to scouts every week without a fight, he could go to scout camp. That promise magically turned everything around. Isaac had previously argued endlessly about how there was absolutely no point whatsoever to being involved in scouts so why were we forcing him? After he found out he could go on a week-long camping trip, he went to every cub scout activity without another word. 

He even popped out of bed at 5am and put that uniform on with a smile. 

When Ian turned 11 and joined boy scouts, the older boys were relentlessly mean. The things he would tell me made my mother heart so sad. But, there was nothing to be done because, while the boys were needlessly cruel and bullies, it also fell into the category of "boys will be boys" behavior (which I am learning can be pretty rough). The best thing to do was nothing. My little 11-year-old Ian had to show up and take it every week from those big teenage boys until he became a big teenager himself.

Now, he is the oldest one in the troop and I can tell he has completely reset the tone for the boys younger than him. That Ian has never had a mean bone in his body. I asked him who his best friend in the troop was and he said "everyone." He talked about how they decided as a troop to take all of their merit badge classes at camp together because they were more interested in each others' company than in what badges they were working on.

I know it wasn't easy for Brian to take a whole week off to go to scout camp. He is one of the busiest people I know. He worked all weekend and late into the night finishing up photo and design assignments on his computer. It is going to be a real challenge for him to have no service for six whole days. But, I am so proud of him for just doing it so our boys can have these special memories with him. I love these boys.

Back to my Happy Place

Ahhhh . . . summer. After the crush of activity in May--wrapping up the end of the school year with performances, assemblies, recitals, BBQs and all that good stuff--summer has been a pure delight. We sleep in a little every day and slide into our morning routine slowly. We still have piano and swim lessons and summer gymnastics and merit badge classes and from time to time scout camp and girls camp and youth conference. But, things are so much more laid back without school, homework, sports, plays, etc. It is so nice to break out of our usual routine for a few months.

There was a time when I loved to get up and get going with my day by 5 or 6 am. Now my life feels like all I do is stay on the go. So, I cherish every opportunity I have to be still.

At the start of the summer, Ian said, "Mom, can we please go lots of places together this summer?" I was so touched that my 6-foot-tall 13-year-old wants to spend time with his family. I have tried my best to honor this request. I feel like this summer is really special. It might be the last summer I have when all four of my kids still enjoy going on adventures together.

Things are changing. It is so different with Sophie having a summer job. I am happy that Lagoon only schedules her 2-3 days per week. I wouldn't want her to be gone any more than that. It is also nice that she has something to keep her busy and she loves earning money and feeling independent.

Things are changing. Even though Ian requested that we go to all of our favorite places together, I think he is realizing as we go to them that he is growing up. My kids love Classic Waterslides. It is a tiny, run-down waterpark in Riverdale. I have always seen it that way. It wasn't until this summer that Ian saw it that way too, and the realization disappointed him. I think something about a child's imagination makes places like that more magical than they really are. Then we all grow up.

For the most part, my two oldest are great sports about going places with the family. We had an absolutely delightful evening in June with the whole family at The Leonardo in Salt Lake. We learned cool science facts and played with a concave mirror that turned us all upside down. We experimented with electricity, sound waves, 3-D coding, stop motion animation, optical illusions, sensory illusions, messed around with a green screen, drew self portraits and colored part of a giant mural that covered the four walls of a huge room. We learned about homelessness, the properties of water, human rights and built things at the enormous Lego table and then built more things out of enormous Legos. It was beautiful to me to see all of my family there together, interacting with each other while we explored.

We dined at Noodles & Co. before we returned home. There was almost a crisis because they were out of elbow noodles for Katie and Isaac's mac n' cheese. But, then they both had an epiphany that their mac n' cheese really would taste OK made with a different shape of noodle. It was a wonderful evening start to finish.

We had another fun adventure last week. Ian needed to visit the Capitol in Salt Lake for a merit badge so I contacted a dear friend from my college days and we met to take all eight of our kids on an adventure. First we explored the Capitol, taking in the view from all four levels. The kids were amazed by the grandeur of the marble staircases. We made crayon rubbings together on the main floor and walked around the outside of the building.

Next, we visited the Salt Lake library to appreciate the interesting architecture. We rode the fast glass elevators to the top level and took a tour of the rooftop garden before playing in the waterfall fountain.

Last, we enjoyed some time at Liberty Park. The kids played on the playground and ran around the splash pad. Then, we walked to the concrete water feature that is constructed to represent the canyons and rivers of Utah. It felt as if the kids were playing in a giant puddle. It made them happy. And, it was so wonderful to spend time with my friend who I hadn't seen in years.

Now, I diverge into a very long story about my complicated relationship to exercise.

My love for going to the gym began in high school when my best friend and I would go to Ogden Athletic Club to workout. Her dad had a family membership and she took me along as her guest. We felt so grown up going to the gym by ourselves and I really loved working out with her.

When Sophie was a baby, a friend and I got memberships together to Ogden Athletic Club. I have often thought back to that time and marveled at my dream life. The way the daycare at OAC works is you check your child in from 8:30-10:30 or 10:30-12:30. We usually shot for the earlier time, but in honesty we went later at least half the time. We could work out for a full hour then take our time showering and getting ready for the day while our babies played happily in the nursery. Who cared if we were at the gym until 12:30? We were stay at home moms with one baby each. There was no school, no homework, no lessons . . . no schedule. Sometimes after we finished at the gym we would go to my house or hers and eat lunch together. Because we could. And, because we were way too poor to go to a restaurant. Our lives were so relaxed and easy. Did I even appreciate it? I think I did. But, I am sure I did not appreciate it enough. I had no way to comprehend that three years later I would be caring for six kids ages 0-5 (two babies, two toddlers and two pre-schoolers). My life was headed for crazy and I had no idea. I like to think back to the simplicity of that earlier time in motherhood.

When Ian was three months old, I took him to the nursery at OAC for his first time and he caught RSV and spent the rest of the winter battling colds and ear infections. Needless to say, I cancelled my membership and never took him back. That is when I switched to Gold's Gym because it was closer to my house and less expensive. That is when I started waking up at 5:30 am to workout before anyone else in the house was awake. And that worked really well for me for about 10-years.

I'm not sure what happened to me because one thing I know for sure is: I LOVED going to the gym. It was my "me" time. It energized me. I felt so blah when I missed a workout. For the first year or two  at Gold's, I would sweat on the elliptical while reading a magazine or watching the news. Then, a couple of ladies asked if they could join me. Michelle and Monica became two of my dearest lifelong friends. For the short period in my life when I was a runner (when Sophie was 2 and Ian was 1), Monica was my running buddy. She is such a cool lady. She and her husband just moved their family to Peru where he will serve as a mission president for the next three years. What an adventure!

And, Michelle really became my best friend. We spent our time at the gym equal parts working out and talking about all the different stages our kids were going through and just figuring out life together. Those talks at the gym helped me so much. There were times when they were truly my saving grace.

When our friendship began, Michelle lived right around the corner from me. Then, she moved into a bigger house still close by. When we upgraded to a bigger house 4.5 years ago, it was right up the street from Michelle. I was very excited for that! But, only a few months after we moved in, Michelle and her family moved to New Mexico for a new job. It has been a great loss to me to have Michelle gone from my life. Even though they have been in New Mexico for 4 years and they bought a house there, they never sold their house here, so, when she comes to town we always meet up for a morning walk. I thought Michelle and I would grow old taking morning walks together. At least we have those few times per year.

I am sure that loss contributed to my loss of love for the gym. After having workout buddies for so many years, I found it impossible to go to the gym alone. On the bright side, I soon found another dear friend, Jodi, to be my gym buddy.

I used to love getting up early to start my day. Michelle and I would wake up at 5:30 to get to the gym a little before 6 am for our workout, but we could never bring ourselves to make it in time for the 5:30 am classes.

Jodi and I did go to the 5:30 am classes and we loved them! Body pump is a great class that we could go to on Mon, Wed, Fri and there were some awesome high intensity cardio classes on Tues, Thurs. I also loved the Saturday morning yoga class.

Then, they moved the 5:30 am classes to 5:15 am. We had been getting up at 5 am. We had to start setting our alarms for 4:45 am. I learned that 5 am is where I draw the line. There is something not right about getting up in the 4 am hour to start your day. I was so tired in the evenings right when it was time to put my kids to bed. Even though I enjoyed the mornings, the resulting evenings became miserable.

We tried to remedy the problem by going to the 6:15 am classes instead. But, those classes were just crazy to me. We had to do things like put an elastic band around our waist and have someone pull on it while we ran around the track. Say what? I am so pleased with myself when I run around the track. I don't need added resistance pulling me backwards, you know what I mean? We had to hold heavy weights over our heads and lunge all the way around the track (that particular exercise session injured my back), or one of us would do a jillion push ups while the other person jumped back and forth over the body of the person doing push ups. We had to hop across the room on one foot or jump on every step up and down a long staircase over and over. It was the perfect class for a four year old because they do all of those things for fun all day every day. But, it was not my cup of tea.

Anyways . . . I don't know if it was Michelle leaving, or the time change of the 5:30 am classes to 5:15 am, or me getting older, or my kids getting older (and staying up later and later at night), or just plain old fashioned burnout. I don't know. But, I started to hate going to the gym. And, I mean, I started to HATE it. I would feel anxious at night when going to bed if the next day was a gym day. I was always thinking up ways to get out of going and Jodi and I were both cancelling more than half the time. We were only showing up one or two times a week. Also, the yoga class got a new instructor and it was more like yoga aerobics. No thank you.

Two years ago, I couldn't handle the stress of it anymore. I did not want to get up so early. I did not want to keep making myself do something that I didn't want to do. Instead of feeling energized on days I went to the gym, I felt grumpy and tired. I could not understand this compete turn around in my attitude. I wanted to love going to the gym. But, I didn't. So, I cancelled my membership. For the first time since Sophie was a baby, I wasn't a gym member. I missed seeing Jodi, but I didn't miss the workouts. I figured I needed a change. I told myself I would take walks outdoors, maybe even hike. I told myself I would go to yoga classes at the studios downtown. I told myself I could workout in the evenings if I wanted to. I figured if I gave myself a break, I would start to miss working out like I had always missed it in the past. Maybe I would even become a morning person again if I didn't push so hard.

But, those things didn't happen. I didn't miss working out. I loved sleeping in more than I ever imagined I could. Time passed and I never got into a new routine. Every few months I would try to force myself. But, it wouldn't stick. I knew I needed to exercise, but I couldn't find my love, or even a faint like, for it.

I kept thinking that I needed to do yoga. But, yoga classes are expensive at a studio. And, I couldn't find a time of day that worked for me. I didn't want to get up early. Also, I did get up early (6:15 am) during the school year so I could take Sophie to early morning seminary. I didn't want to get up earlier. And, I didn't want to workout after I dropped her off because then it was time to get the other kids up and going for the day. All four of my kids had to be driven to different schools every morning (Katie only 2 days a week since we were doing homeschool the other 3 days). It wasn't good timing anymore for a morning workout. After the three older kids were out the door, then it was my homeschooling time with Katie. Then, work. And, on the days Katie went to school I went into the office. I didn't want to workout in the evenings because that is when the crush of the day really began. These were the roadblocks standing in my way in addition to my zero motivation.

A few weeks ago, I thought about going back to Ogden Athletic Club to check it out. It is a 15-minute drive from my house, but it is family friendly. Gold's Gym doesn't really allow anyone under 18 (unless they are really young and in the nursery).

I was so happy when I went and I discovered they had just completed a remodel to make their facility even more family friendly! They gave me a 7-day trial pass. While I worked out, Katie and Isaac played in three supervised rooms. One has a gigantic play land with three really fast slides. Another has basketball, indoor soccer, or other similar organized games. The third room is the lounge where there is a movie showing, a climbing wall, and tables where they can do art projects.

Upstairs there is a family lounge where Sophie and Ian can go hang out (unless they are working out with me which is also allowed) or where our whole family can go together. There is a pool table, ping pong, shuffle board, air hockey and a big flat screen t.v. with couches.

I was so excited when I found out there are 10 yoga classes offered throughout the week. A morning and evening class on Mon-Thurs and morning classes on Fri-Sat. I was even more excited when I started going to the yoga classes and I LOVED them!!! One thing I have learned is that yoga classes are not created equally. They can be a gamble, especially in a gym setting. But, these classes are relaxing, restoring and build my strength, balance and flexibility gently. I have been to five classes in just over a week and all have been heavenly.

Now I don't feel guilty for leaving the kids and going to the gym because I take the kids with me! They have a great time playing while I go to an awesome yoga class. Then, we all swim together. They have an outdoor and an indoor pool. The pools have lifeguards! Since all of my kids can swim the length of the pool independently, I can sneak away to the hot tub or the steam room for a few minutes knowing that a lifeguard is right there and the pools are never crowded. We all take a quick shower after our swim, so there is one more thing out of the way in our day.

It has been such a delight going to the Ogden Athletic Club. When I am there, I remember my high school visits with Nichole and taking baby Sophie swimming in the 1-foot-deep pool with Trisha and her baby and those memories make me happy. It makes me think about what a blessed life I have had and reminds me that what I am doing now will someday be my cherished memories. I am finally looking forward to exercise again and that is a very, very good feeling. I hope I can keep this momentum. And, this time around, I am definitely appreciating it.

Katie--Wut I Like Abowt Mom

Katie worked on this precious list for months before she presented it to me about 6-months ago. She began it when she had just turned six. I am recording it here because I never, ever want to forget this sweetness.

Katie--wut I like abowt Mom
1. I luve her.
2. She is the best mom.
3. She is nise to me.
4. I love that she is my mom.
5. She is the best.
6. She has the best clos (chothes).
7. Hir her (hair) is the best.
8. I love her SO much!
9. She is the best mom in the wirld.
10. She loves to sit by me.
11. She dos the best picshers (uh-oh, don't tell Brian).
12. Sum times she bise me stuf.
13. I love to go plasis with her.
14. She loves me.

The back of the paper says, "I love you!" in giant fancy bubble letters.

This sweet daughter of mine writes me love notes on a near daily basis. She writes sweet love notes to everyone. I just loved how she really took her time formulating this list. I would see it in her room partially finished and she would ask me not to read it until it was done. What a thoughtful sweetheart I have.

May 2016

This month has been a marathon of awesome events, including one actual marathon. I'm going to do my best to write it all down as fast as I can so I don't forget.

May is the month that sneaks up on you. It is as busy as December and in some cases (such as this year) much much busier. Which can be difficult to explain to your childless boss and co-worker why you are suddenly so inundated with events in your personal life. They have been supportive nonetheless.

I think I will go in order from oldest to youngest.

May was a busy month for Brian who, for the first time, is on the GOAL staff who puts on the Ogden Marathon the 3rd weekend in May. He was so busy the two weeks leading up to the marathon, and barely had time to sleep (leaving the house at 5 am and working past 10 pm) on the Thursday, Friday and Saturday of the marathon.

The GOAL staff is not allowed to participate in the marathon since this huge event requires all hands on deck as well as hundreds of community volunteers. However, this year was Brian's chance to run the Ogden Marathon for the 10th time -- qualifying him for the 10-year club. This is a club of people who have run the Ogden Marathon 10 or more times and they are honored at a fancy pasta dinner at Zucca a few nights before the marathon. His staff graciously agreed to let him run the race one last time so he could secure his membership.

We all hoped for beautiful weather since the marathon has been rainy and cold in 2014 and 2015, so it's getting kind of a bad rap. Saturday morning we woke up to a downpour. Sad. Especially for Brian who had to run in buckets of rain for over four hours and who has to market this race that has now been a severe test of endurance due to the weather for runners for three years in a row.

Aside from the weather, the race was another huge success. Way to go Brian and way to go GOAL and way to go Ogden!

I am so proud of Sophie. In the month of May she worked her new summer job at Lagoon, performed in the Little Mermaid Jr. at the Ziegfeld Theater eight times, appearing as the mersister Aquata, a princess, a pink flamingo and a jelly fish. The mersister role was definitely the largest role she has had in a play to date and included some singing solos. She was darling doing all of her parts and the show turned out so colorful and cute. I am really impressed with the director and what she was able to pull out of the kids.

Sophie did all of this while also preparing for a school play that opens tonight (only a few days after the Little Mermaid closed). Anyone who has participated in theater knows this has meant a lot of long days going directly from school to rehearsals and performances that have lasted sometimes until after 10 p.m., even on school nights.

A musical, a play and her first summer job -- all while finishing up her first year of high school and staying on the honor role. Like I said, so proud of this girl!

Ian reaches the landmark of his final day of 7th grade today. He has had a fantastic first year of junior high. He has so many good friends and I am grateful for that in his life.

Before school began, the band teacher reluctantly agreed to let Ian join the 8th grade (advanced) band instead of having to first complete a year in beginning band since he has had so many years of piano and is good at reading music. He was starting on a new instrument -- drums -- but he put in the time to get caught up to his peers and by the first test he earned first chair.

He continued to do well and by mid-year, the band teacher signed him out of his required keyboarding class for 2nd semester so that he could join the jazz band and play bass guitar -- another new instrument.

At first Ian was bummed out that he couldn't play keyboard or drums (those instruments were taken by other students and he kind of got pushed into being the bass guitarist). He would come home and lament that he couldn't show off on his instrument like the other students since he didn't know how to play it yet.

I was so proud of him when I went to his band concert earlier this month and that kid rocked it! He is awesome on the bass guitar already and I am excited to see where he will go with it next year. It meant a lot to my dad who has helped pay for his piano lessons over the years to see him perform.

We also got to attend the honors banquet with him for being on the honor roll all year. I am so proud of Ian's musical accomplishments and of all of my kids for working hard to keep their grades up.

Ian was also allowed to skip 8th grade math and go straight into the 9th grade math class next year because he has been such an outstanding mathematician. He completed the entire 7th and 8th grade online curriculums halfway through they year and then started the 9th grade curriculum.  There are a handful of 7th graders who are skipping straight to 9th grade math. Ian is the only one out of his entire school of over 900 kids to complete two grades worth of online topics and more than fifty 9th grade topics in one year. He had to look up youtube videos to teach him the concepts as it became more and more complicated. What a guy!

Isaac's 4th grade year had a rough start and ups and downs but ended on a totally high note. He passed all of his sage tests with flying colors (his teacher and I were both holding our breath). He was honored earlier this month in an assembly where his teacher named him student of the month for his good behavior and hard work academically.

This is what his teacher had to say about him:

"Isaac is an amazing young man! He is passionate about learning about the world around him. He has millions of facts and details he has read about swirling in his head and can add to every lesson with these facts. I admire his desire to learn. My favorite thing about Isaac is the twinkle in his eye - he has such a funny sense of humor; but he usually says it so straight-faced that I have learned to look for that "twinkle" to see if he is teasing me. Isaac makes my day happy every single day!"

She has truly loved him and brought out the best in him. I am so grateful. His positive attitude has also spilled over into home life prompting him to work on some goals (like shoe tying) that he has been stubborn about in the past. I am so proud of him!

The other day, he and his friend filled a whole outdoor trash can with weeds they pulled for fun. I love it.

He was also given an award at the end of year assembly yesterday. The teachers each picked three students in their class who had been outstanding for one reason or another and Isaac was one of the three his teacher chose.

My darling Katie Jane turned seven this week. She has been counting down since about January 1. When she woke up on the morning of her birthday, she started counting down to eight!

She has worked so hard at DaVinci Distance and home school and finished the year strong. Yesterday, I went to her science fair in the morning where she gave an amazing presentation on how volcanos erupt and then, yes, we did erupt a volcano that the class had made together. We erupted it over and over and the kids loved it more and more each time.

After that, I went to Isaac's school to see him get his award. Then it was straight back to Katie's school for an end of the year BBQ celebration at the park. The day was jam packed with fun and yet we were just beginning.

At 2:30, we picked up three of Katie's friends and headed up to a petting farm (Carver's Cove) in Ogden Valley. It was a magical place. There were goats, llamas, alpacas, miniature donkeys, miniature horses, wild mustangs, bunnies, geese, pigs, turkeys, cats, cows and the most friendly sheep dog named Tess. The kids could walk around and pet and feed all of the animals. They got to ride on a horse. We saw piglets that were born earlier that day and two baby goats that were born five minutes earlier. There was a baby lamb, a baby horse, baby cows, more baby goats -- tons of cute babies since it is spring.

My heart was so touched when Isaac broke away from the group to give the last of his food to the momma goat who had just given birth. She took a break from cleaning her babies to eat it. He is so thoughtful.

The kids had fun with the animals. I loved how excited they were -- even about the friendly cats. Then we went to a fancy cupcake shop for a treat and to open gifts. I think it was a pretty fun birthday celebration.

More end of year celebrating today as it is Ian and Isaac's last day of school. I will see Sophie's play tonight. She has school through next Friday. Ian's piano recital is next week. It has been a very full and very wonderful month. I am so excited for our adventures this summer.

Suicide

Chad and Dori moved into out ward while we were living in China. It was ten years ago that we returned from our travels abroad to our house on 25th street to meet these new ward members -- Dori, a spicy red-head, and her husband Chad who was bald and had the same glasses as Brian, creating enough resemblance between the two that sometimes our youngest kids would walk up to the wrong "dad."

I was instantly attracted to Dori's zesty and honest personality. She was so intelligent and had interesting insights on every topic. Chad was one of the most creative people I had met. He was always creating elaborate holiday decorations for their home, themed parties for Weber State University, and their family always had the best Halloween costumes around.

When I met Dori she was working as an independent grant writer for the city while trying to juggle a large and very young family. When she and Chad married, Dori already had a daughter. They decided they would have two more kids together -- which they did in rapid succession. With three children, they felt their family was complete. But, another baby came soon after that. When birth control failed them a second time and their fifth child was born, Dori opted to have her tubes tied. Crazy story is that she somehow conceived a sixth child. Her first daughter was about seven years older than the kids Chad and Dori had together. The five kids they had together were born in seven years and three of them were unexpected.

I am sure it was challenging to balance all of this, but Chad and Dori did it with smiles on their faces, using humor to keep going through the daily struggles and uplifting the people around them all the time.

I know all of this because, as I mentioned before, Dori had a very open and honest personality and shared so many things. She shared the marital challenges that she and Chad had which, quite frankly blew my mind as I learned about all they had been through. At one point when they were separated, we had a conversation during which Dori was gasping for breath and crying so hard. He had done things that I don't know if I could forgive. It was hard for her to forgive too. But, she loved him so much. Instead of being angry, (I'm sure she was angry too), she expressed hurt down to the tips of her toes and just unfathomable anguish at being separated from her soulmate, her true love, her best friend in the entire world.

They made it through some of the toughest struggles I've ever known of married couples to face. They had both had difficult childhoods, and their love for each other as they created a beautiful life for their own family was evident, even if they were not perfect individuals. In fact, the openness and honesty about their imperfections made them all the more endearing in this world where life is so very, very messy and real.

I loved Dori for her cheeky sass and I loved Chad for his kindness. They both had so much positive energy and optimism for life and infectious smiles. I loved their brood of freckle faced kids. I loved their love story that endured all things and fought hard to keep going and to truly forgive and to keep loving through hard things.

That is why I was so sad to learn Friday night that Chad took his life. I keep thinking about my conversation with Dori when she thought their marriage might be over and how heartbroken she was not to have him in her life as her partner every day. I remember how happy she was when they started dating again and when they were finally able to heal the wounds and stay together.

Suicide is so tough. Just two months ago, a neighbor who lives a block from us also took his life. He and his wife had been together 25-years since they were sweethearts in high school. Both of these men, Chad (and Danny) were so beloved by our community. They could always be found at events aimed at making Ogden a better place. They were family guys who loved their wives and children. It is hard to see this happen to two beautiful families.

My heart does feel more at peace than it did twelve years ago when Brian's good friend Scott took his life. That was my first experience of losing someone close to me to suicide ever. It took a long time for me to wrap my brain around what had happened. We had been on a couples trip to Moab with Scott and his wife a few months before, and we were preparing to take another couples trip to Moab with them in one week when Scott died. On our trip and the double dates that followed, we had laughed so hard and had such good times together. Like Chad and Danny, Scott was one of the most friendly, easy-going, optimistic and happy people I had known. I always felt great when I was around him. He had four kids between 12-18. How was it possible? I felt like my entire world was turned upside down. The belief I had been taught at that time was that there was no redemption for those who took their own lives. That left me with a very raw feeling inside.

After losing these three amazing men in such a surprising way, it makes me ponder about how we truly never know the sorrows those around us are battling every day. I know that God is a loving God and would never cancel out a life of good deeds based on suicide. My heart is aching for their families and I feel sad thinking about them being in such a dark place in their final moments. But, I am so grateful that they can finally rest and have peace in their souls and pray for those left behind.