Bear Lake 2015

Last time I wrote, I was wistful. I was not ready for summer vacation to end. I am slowly coming around to accepting that it pretty much has ended. A couple of trips to one of my favorite places, Bear Lake, helped.

Bear Lake is the place I camped when I was a teenager after we moved to Utah. We stayed at a campground in Idaho that allowed us to pitch our tents on the sandy beach right next to the water. We had a ski boat, a jet ski and four wheelers. We rode the four wheelers up and down the sand at the water's edge and were amazed every single time at the magical turquoise color of the water when we got out on the lake on the boat or jet ski.

Some years, we have taken our family to a cabin with my extended family and I have been so incredibly blessed in my life to make a tradition of joining my friend Heidi at a lakeside cabin every year since Sophie and Ian were babies (twelve years). It is the perfect arrangement! The cabin is located right across the street from the Garden City KOA so we can stock up on ice or groceries conveniently. It is also down the street from all the places that sell raspberry shakes and, the cutest candy shop "The Chocolate Bear" that sells chocolate dipped raspberries and other treats -- mmm-mmm!

This year, Heidi invited us to join her family at the cabin on the exact dates we were in Disneyland -- Boo! I was worried we wouldn't make it to Bear Lake this year, so on Isaac's birthday halfway through August, we decided to take a day trip.

We left at 8 a.m. to drive to Montpelier for the Bear Lake County Fair where our talented friend Terresa was performing songs with two other ladies. It was fun to see the goats, chickens, pigs, cows, steers, sheep and rabbits. We also enjoyed the performance and let the kids ride a few rides (giant slides and house of mirrors) before we headed over to North Beach.

We went with another family and it was fun because it was my friend Amber's first time at Bear Lake! I hope she loved it. Packing everything into one day was worth it and I would do it again, but it was exhausting.

We played in the water and the sand, had a picnic on the beach, and lounged around in the shade and the sun before we packed up for the day. On our way out of town, we stopped at Zipz, a new restaurant with outdoor seating that boasts having the "least famous shakes." Haha! It's funny because every place in Garden City advertises "famous" Bear Lake raspberry shakes. We ate our shakes, burgers, hot dogs and tons of food in an old fashioned ski boat built into the patio with a large table down the middle. Good times!

I think Isaac had a fantastic day, but at the end he proclaimed it his worst birthday ever (only because he didn't want to leave!).

As we were enjoying what we thought would be our only Bear Lake day of the summer, we got a text from Heidi inviting us to join her for a last minute jaunt to the cabin the following week on Tuesday and Wednesday.

That turned out to be a fun way to begin bidding our summer farewell. Brian had to work, but on Tuesday morning, I headed back up one of the most beautiful canyons in the world (Logan) with my kids and one of Ian's friends.

We arrived at the beautiful lake to enjoy a day of perfect weather that turned into night games under the stars for the kids while Heidi, Paula and I sat visiting in the cabin (just like old times when the three of us spent a week together at the cabin every summer). Listening to the kids having a blast outside felt like the purest joy.

Here are some pictures. They actually start near the end of the trip and don't go in any order. Katie and Isaac played non-stop in the water and sand (we can walk to a nice sandy spot and the water right from the cabin) on Tuesday and Wednesday. Wednesday evening, we were packing up when Heidi suggested we stay one more night and leave in the morning, which, of course, we did. Wednesday night, right after we made that decision, we celebrated at a Mexican restaurant down the street with this hullabaloo (Paula and Ian's friend had already returned home):

Tons of food and fun times!

The kids had fun on the kayaks and paddle boards. If this picture doesn't say "perfect childhood moment" I don't know what does.

I couldn't get enough photos of these two on the swing.

A sandcastle built by Katie and Isaac on our corner of beach looking out on the captivating lake. This is the view we see when we look out the windows from the cabin.

Katie ended up with a mermaid tail a few times.

This guy could never get enough of building dams and canals connecting this enormous land-locked puddle to the lake. It made me so happy to see Katie and Isaac playing in the sand and the sun for hours on end each day the way Sophie and Ian did when they were younger.

Could they be more happy?

On the last day, Heidi and I remained with these six kids. We took this traditional photo by the swing right before we left.

Thursday morning we were working so hard to pack everything up. When I finally sat still for one second as I started the engine to the van and got ready to pull out, my eyes stared out at the lake seeing the same view I have seen every year for twelve years. Suddenly my mind was overcome with all of the memories of my babies and all the good times we have had at this very spot! I could see five-year-old Ian zooming up and down the steep gravel driveway over and over on his red bike and making circles in the dirt with his fingers. I could see little Sophie swimming in the freezing lake like a fish all day and begging me to join her. Sometimes there was an amazing ski boat for us to ride in and other times we sped across the lake on jet skis. I could see Isaac and Izzy as toddlers when they use to be best friends laughing around the fire. Katie when she was one and Brian was her favorite parent. The kids singing along to Rock Band songs. Arts and crafts galore. There have been so many outdoor movies under the stars on the giant lawn and crazy dancing and games on that lawn too. We have enjoyed so many delicious meals together in the cabin and napped under the endlessly blue sky in the hammock. Ugh--so many memories it makes my heart swell and my eyes get all blurry when I think about it.

I have been so blessed in my life with good friends to help our family make these memories. What a perfect way to work out the end of summer blues.

On Tuesday morning, before we left for the cabin, I woke up extra early and decided to fill out an on-line registration form to get Sophie on the waiting list for the charter school DaVinci Academy. I had no idea what our chances were of getting in or not.

On Wednesday, I got a call from the office saying school had started and if I would bring in Sophie's birth certificate, etc. they would put her in the lottery so we could find out Friday if she could get in.

When we got home on Thursday, I rushed the documents to the school before they closed for the day and -- wallah! We were the first to turn in all of the documents so we got the slot that was open.

Friday morning, I went from thinking that summer break was almost over to suddenly being dropped into a place where my oldest had already missed the first two days of school. We met with a counselor and got her registered for classes.

I have a really good feeling about this decision and she does too. Which is saying a lot because this is my daughter who normally resists every change no matter what.

Since then, life has been a whirlwind of buying school supplies and school clothes and getting everything ready. I have had to accept that summer is essentially over. 

But, I think we made the most of it.

Summer 2015 Winds Down

Looks like it's almost time to send these four back to school. It is with very mixed emotions, but I am trying to focus on the positive.

I feel a little sad that Sophie, my soon to be 9th grader expresses such a strong dislike for school. This is my child who absolutely loved school so much she couldn't stand to miss a single day right up until junior high began. It's not the academics she hates. All of her teachers love her, so I know she is respectful. I want to help her find a way to be happy. We have recently started discussing the option of transferring her to a charter school.

Ian, my soon to be 7th grader is excited to see what junior high is all about. I hope his experiences will be more positive.

Last February, I made the decision to pull Katie and Isaac out of their elementary school to homeschool them. The thing that surprised me most about this decision is all the FUN we had. We loved it and I was looking forward to homeschooling them for at least a full academic year.

I accepted a five-hour-per-week-work-from-home job that quickly turned into a fifteen-to-twenty-hour-per-week-please-come-to-the-office-when-you-can job.

I think when I said "yes" somewhere inside of me I knew this might happen. And, it did. And, it's good. It's a really good job and I think ultimately it is a better situation for my family.

It has been a summer of transition with the kids getting use to me being away more. Once school starts I can make my own schedule and work while they are at school (if you have to work, it doesn't get better than that). I absolutely love my office right on Historic 25th Street in Downtown Ogden. Every time I drive there I think about how blessed I am to have zero traffic on my beautiful commute. And, I work with the most incredibly positive, kind people I have ever met.

Awhile back (before the notion of homeschooling), I was looking ahead to the 2015-16 school year and wondering what I would do? I would only have one child left who was not in school (I am speaking here of a child I babysit). My income would drop. I kept wondering if I should go to work or enroll more children. For the first time in 14+ years since becoming a mother, all of my children would be in school all day opening the door to new possibilities.

After so many years of raising my kids and watching other peoples' kids, I figured the best skills I had were patience and nurturing. I had gone to the trouble to get my license. Lots of working moms need childcare. It seemed there were compelling reasons to go with growing the childcare business.

Then the decision to homeschool came along and that felt right. I figured it wouldn't be too tricky to homeschool two with a little friend (who I babysit) joining us. And, to write my weekly restaurant feature. And, when the opportunity presented itself, to work five-hours-per-week-from-home. I figured I could find one hour per day (but, definitely not two -- that was where I would have to draw the line).

At first when I saw the new job would be more than expected, I was determined to find a way to make the job plus homeschool work. I figured out how I could do it. It was nice to say to myself, "I really can do this if I want to and feel like it is the right thing." After I considered that for some time, I gave myself permission to not be the mayor of crazy town. To do that, I would have to decide to quit the job or send the kids back to school. Because, even though in theory my plan would work, it would only stay on track if everything went perfectly. There was no leeway for, let's say, illness, for example. If there is one thing I know about my life it is that it almost never goes as planned. Did I mention one of my greatest skills is also flexibility?

I thought and thought about what to do and I decided that, even though I didn't plan on this job, it is the direction I should be taking in my life right now. It was really hard to let go of the homeschool dream, but I am reassured by the fact that everyone has told me the teachers Katie and Isaac have for the upcoming school year are awesome.

I am so grateful for the few months we had together. I learned some things about them that I really needed to know. Like -- that the medicine Isaac was taking always made him fall asleep in the afternoon (his teacher had never once mentioned it and when I asked her about it, she said, "Oh yeah, he always falls asleep and I make him stand at his desk -- how miserable must that have been!?). We took him completely off the medicine and we have seen very little negative impact from that -- a huge benefit for everyone.

I also learned that Katie needs some extra attention when it comes to reading and math. I was cruising right along assuming she was getting everything she needed because that is how it went the first three times around. We have spent the past six months focusing on reading and just last month made some giant strides forward.

I am grateful for the extra time, the extra outings and for getting to see my children's brilliant minds at work up close and personal during a small window in our lives.

I am mourning the end of summer (I always do) and getting use to the change of plans. I keep telling myself that once school starts I will probably love it so much I won't even know what to do. Maybe these awesome teachers have something they need to give my little ones that I am not capable of giving them.

If we all hate it, I can always pull them out again and figure out how to make homeschool happen.

Time will tell. Meanwhile, I do look forward to fall which is perhaps my favorite season with its cooling temperatures, stunning sunsets and all around dazzling colors. Maybe my house will be clean again. Maybe I will renew my commitment to go to the gym. Life is one big present waiting to be unwrapped.

The Himalayas

"Are we going to the Himalayas?" he asked, his blue eyes twinkling. "No. Wait. Not the Himalayas. What is it called again?"

I had just told Isaac we were getting ready for our annual family reunion (with Brian's family) to the Uintahs. His comment was so appropriate in my mind, since the Uintahs, being so remote and so drastically high above sea level (10,000 feet?), may as well be the Himalayas to me.

Our work schedules dictated that we would only spend one night. I don't know how anyone spends more than one night at a campground with no running water anyway. So, it was perfect.

We arrived Sunday afternoon, pitched a tent, built a fire, and commenced making hobo dinners. We decided to try steak instead of hamburger this time (thinly sliced and chopped carne asada). They were the best! I was hesitant to change things up from what I am use to. But, now I don't think I can ever go back.

As I sat scooping raw meat, onions, carrots and potatoes into double thick tin foil packets, Katie walked up and said, "Eww that looks disgusting." She and Isaac are my terribly picky eaters. I said, "Everything tastes better when you are camping. We will cook them in the fire and like magic they will be delicious."

Isaac took my comment to heart. For the next thirty minutes we heard him explaining to Katie, his cousins, and everyone else how we were eating magic dinners and because of the magic they would be delicious.

Like magic -- he gobbled his up.

This is saying a lot.

For the first time in my memory since we started going to the Uintahs with Brian's family every summer 14-years ago, the bugs were minimal. Normally, I feel like I am swarmed by them day and night even with straight deet applied head to toe. But, this time, I didn't need bug spray until after dark. It was like a Himalaya miracle.

My brother-in-law told me that the reason it is so buggy (and, often cold, sometimes dropping below freezing at night) is because we go in early July and the season for camping there doesn't start until late July. I guess after that, the area becomes quite pleasant. I wonder if our hot, hot, hot summer accounts for why the experience seemed so much better this time.

However, Brian's sister said her family camped in the Uintahs last August and woke up in the morning to SNOW! I guess you never know.

On the topic of camping, growing up I loved it. I mean, I LOVED it!

Every summer we went to Strike Dam (in Idaho where I spent the first half of my childhood) and camped in a camper and took our ski boat out on the lake.

I treasure my childhood memories from Idaho when we spent time at Strike Dam with dozens of cousins. My dad is one of nine siblings and they all grew up to have large families. These were good, good times. There were always oodles of cousins to play with.

Sometimes my dad and the uncles would load up a bunch of kids and head to the foothills to camp. There was lots of dirt, no toothbrushes or hairbrushes and probably the only food we took was a package of hot dogs to roast over the fire. I am sure there were outhouses (if there were any facilities at all). My dad liked to camp remotely, much like Brian's dad.

I treasure these camping memories as some of the best times of my childhood.

After we moved to Utah, we made an annual tradition of camping at Bear Lake at a place where we could pitch our tent right by the water. Many more fantastic memories were made. We took the ski boat on the water and rode four-wheelers up and down the sandy shore.

When Brian and I married, I liked camping. Sometimes we went camping with friends and none of us even had kids. We did it for fun.

For Brian's first father's day (after Sophie was born), I surprised him with some camping gear and an impromptu camping trip.

That is why it was such a surprise when I started to lose my love for camping.

I think I can trace it back to the first time Sophie was mobile and I started to worry about her safety. That was also the summer I slept on the ground while I was pregnant with Ian. And, by "slept" I mean I laid wide awake and in pain all night. I thought this had to do with being pregnant, but, the reality is that after he was born, my body never felt like sleeping on the ground again. Two more pregnancies and childbirths haven't helped that situation.

Camping with two babies ages two and under (and then two ages three and under, and then three ages four and under) also dampened my affection for the great outdoors. I worried about them getting lost (I probably worried way more about this than necessary, but, every year I heard about some child wandering off in the Uintahs and being lost for days). I worried about them being run over by a car (it is so easy for young children to wander into the dirt roadways that are right next to campsites). There are also water dangers (lakes and rivers) and sunburns (thinner atmosphere) and mosquitoes (West Nile virus). It is no fun taking a child who is potty training to an outhouse and I didn't enjoy seeing my little cherubs covered in dirt head to toe as much as I enjoyed myself playing in the dirt during my own childhood (there were definitely toothbrushes and hairbrushes and clean faces on the camping trips when my mom was present).

I guess I outgrew camping. It has become a real challenge for me. I feel like a bit of an outcast around Brian's family since his sisters love staying for 4-5 days -- pregnancies, little kids, no showers, mosquitoes and all.

It is a challenge because I want my kids to grow up having crazy childhood camping memories like I do. But, it is hard to make those memories without camping.

So . . . I found myself in the Himalayas, I mean, Uintahs, eating magical hobo dinners, looking out over a gorgeous silver lake.

The bugs weren't too bad. The temperature didn't drop too low. And, I got to sleep on a fold down bed in the back of the van while the kids crashed in the tent with Brian. It was an absolute slumber party of one in there. I pulled down the blinds and devoured a good book before dropping off.

In the morning, we cooked wolf 'ems over the fire for breakfast. If all the electricity in the world shuts down, it looks like we are prepared to make all of our meals over a fire now.

The kids kayaked all over the lake for hours. Katie and Isaac seemed so grown up out there paddling by themselves. It was a lovely, lovely time. It has definitely gotten easier now that they are older and maybe the van bed is the answer to my camping woes.

Two weeks earlier, Brian and Sophie went on a pioneer trek while I took the other three kids to a hot springs in Idaho for a family reunion (my side of the family). It was one of those shady campgrounds with mowed grass. The boys slept in my parents' trailer and Katie slept in the van bed with me. We swam in the warm pools, there were showers, and Katie and Isaac entertained themselves endlessly in a small stream that circled the campground.

Two successful camping overnighters so far this year. Not bad. But, my favorite kind of grown-up camping is still the kind that includes a nice comfy cabin.

California 2015

We have the kind of van that begs to be taken on a road trip. Finally, we drove that lovely vehicle with all of its cargo space, leg room and plush seats the way it was meant to be driven.

Our adventure began on a Friday in June. The plan was to drive halfway to Anaheim. At the last minute, Brian was hired for a freelance photo assignment in Salt Lake. We decided to make it part of our adventure.

After we had done all of the important things like pack the van, take out the trash and paint all of the girls' fingernails Disney-style:

We drove to Salt Lake. Brian headed to his photo assignment while the kids and I did some exploring. First, we walked all around the outside of the conference center and admired its waterfall. Then, we walked through the manicured gardens at Temple Square. We found ourselves in the beautiful City Creek Center. And, ended up at Discovery Gateway Children's Museum.

I love that even though Sophie and Ian are grown-up (14 and 12), they still had a great time at this place. They even figured out how to play a Taylor Swift song on the bells. Pretty cool!

Around 1 p.m., we met back up with Brian and forged ahead to eat lunch at J.C.W's in Lehi. Yummy burgers and fries!

That evening we checked into the Lexington in St. George where we enjoyed swimming in their indoor/outdoor pool and this view of palm trees framed by a rainbow:

It was a beautiful start to our road trip. In the morning, after a hot breakfast, we returned to the van to finish the drive to Anaheim where we checked into a Castle Hotel across the street from Disneyland.

After we got settled in the room, we grabbed our pails and shovels and headed to Newport Beach. I love spending time at the ocean. It was a gorgeous evening that turned freezing cold for little ones covered in salt water. 

We wrapped everyone in towels and found a Ruby's Diner for dinner. Normally, we love their milkshakes, but this time it was hot cocoas all around to warm us up.

Sunday, we attended church in the morning and headed back to Newport Beach for more fun. Brian and Ian played frisbee. We built a giant sandcastle. Sophie and I walked out into the enormous waves and let them crash over our heads for a long time. It was a beautiful beach day. (Brian has all of my beach photos on his computer at the moment)

After we had showered and prepared for an early bedtime, my parents checked into the room on one side of us and my brother and his family checked into the room on the other side of us. 

So began a week of extravagance. Five-day-hoppers to Disneyland. Life doesn't get much more lavish than that.

My favorite part of vacation is being with my family. Fun uninterrupted. I loved turning off all the alarms in my phone, put there to keep me on task throughout each day, and setting my planner aside. I didn't even bring my laptop. It was a true vacation from worries and work.

Monday morning we visited Disney California Adventure first so we could get fast passes to the Car's ride and tickets to World of Color. We hit all of our favorite DCA rides while we were there like Screamin', Tower of Terror, Soarin', Toy Story, Monsters Inc. and The Little Mermaid.

Monday was our one hot day at the park. We were so lucky to have cloud cover and highs in the 70s for the rest of the week. Monday hit 90-degrees. I took Katie and Isaac back to the hotel room to rest during the hot part of the day. I loved it so much when they snuggled up with me, one on each side, and we all fell asleep. I know it wasn't Disneyland, but it was pretty much the best.

This was also the best:

Look at Brian! He totally got into it.

These moments when I spied him taking such good care of our kids and enjoying his time with them made my heart so happy.

Sophie is not a fan of big rides, so this was her first time riding Screamin' and Tower of Terror. I am so proud of her for being brave.

Monday night, I returned to the park and met the group to watch the new World of Color. It was spectacular! I loved hearing stories about Walt Disney and enjoying the colorful fountains. There were some unbelievable balls of fire mixed into the show. It was really special to be there during the 60-year-celebration (diamond anniversary) events.

Tuesday, we found our groove, which was this -- wake up early and get to the park right when it opens, enjoy the rides before the lines get long, go back to the hotel to rest in the afternoon when the park is packed, return in the evening for more rides and to watch the shows. 

Everyone saw the new light parade on Main Street Tuesday night. Unfortunately, Katie and I got so caught up in riding rides, we didn't go back to the hotel for a rest until dinnertime and then she was too tired to go back.

However, on Wednesday night, when the rest of our group decided to go to bed early, Sophie, my dad and I went back to the park to see the parade followed by the fireworks show. It was amazing! I was in disbelief at the incredible floats they have created out of lights. It was like nothing I have ever seen before. 

The fireworks show was also out of this world. The buildings on main street were transformed into a bustling beehive, a coral reef, and then we were immersed in a blizzard while thousands of voices in the packed crowd sang "Let it Go!"

So . . . Tuesday, I rode the rides Katie wanted to ride. The Finding Nemo submarine, It's a Small World, Snow White, Pinnochio and the Storybook boats. We also got on Star Tours (I was the rebel spy!) and rode the train all the way around the park. Katie did not care much for the Haunted Mansion. But, Winnie the Pooh was one of her favorites. 

We also got to see the afternoon Main Street musical parade with the Disney characters.

Wednesday began at DCA again. I took Sophie and Katie to a Frozen sing along that was absolutely beautiful. After that, they met Olaf. And, after that, they met Elsa and Anna.

It was kind of a frozen themed day.

Katie and Princess Anna gaze into Snow White's wishing well.

Wednesday was extra exciting because the girls (my daughters, niece, sister-in-law and mom) had a reservation for lunch at Ariel's Grotto. 

I love everything about this luxurious experience. The dining room is gorgeous, the food is delicious and beautiful princesses come to your table to sign autograph books and pose for pictures. I feel truly spoiled there.

 Meeting Ariel

Beef medalions 

Catch of the day 

 Elegant desserts

I think Katie's expression on this final picture is so funny. Doesn't that somehow say "Disneyland" to you? A princess crown and a scowl -- from all the decadence and revelry until it overwhelms the little ones.

I think the Pinnocio ride's message is ironic in a way.

She was actually giving me that look because I was encouraging her to eat her vegetables.

Wednesday was a lot of fun with the princess lunch as the highlight. That was the night I was wowed by the evening parade and fireworks. 

Thursday we had the option to take advantage of magic morning -- the chance to enter the park an hour before it officially opens. Disneyland was open 8 a.m. to midnight every day we were there and we arrived pretty close to 8 a.m. each morning. Although 7 a.m. is ambitious, on Thursday we decided to go for it and left our hotel rooms at 6:40 a.m. to be at the gate in time for the countdown.

One group raced to Tomorrowland and another group raced to the Matterhorn -- only to discover there was already a 45-minute wait -- what? We re-grouped in Tomorrowland where we were able to walk right on to Space Mountain, Star Tours and the Nemo submarines. 

Sophie wanted to ride the monorail (one of her favorites). We used a Disney secret she found on-line to score seats in the front of the train with the conductor. It was really cool! Brian's mom made Sophie the darling Minnie skirt she is wearing in this picture.

Around 10 a.m., my girls and I went to Toon Town and it was empty! We had the whole place to ourselves. We rode the roller coaster, explored Donald's boat and Goofy's playland, and met characters without any wait at all.

The day before, we had visited Toon Town in the afternoon when it was crowded and it took us 45-minutes to meet Mickey.

It was worth it.

Isaac and my niece Anna were chosen to complete Jedi training. They were grinning ear to ear when they got their certificates at the end.

Katie and Isaac were funny. They kept wanting to go back to the hotel to swim in the afternoons. I think they enjoyed it almost as much as the parks. This little one learned to swim on this trip:

The whole group rode Splash Mountain on Thursday. It was Katie's first time and she LOVED it! I was glad. When we took Sophie and Ian when they were 5 and 3 it terrified them so much that for years the mere mention of Splash Mountain brought them to tears. It was perplexing. The whole family likes the ride now.

We ate lunch at the Hungry Bear, a cafe near Splash Mountain that serves fried green tomato sandwiches and the most scrumptious lemon cupcakes with an edible bee on top:

Three Disneyland trips ago, when my mom took the kids and me, I got spoiled on eating Disneyland's food. It turns out, it's not really that expensive (other than the fact that eating out anywhere with six is expensive) and it is really tasty!

Meals are not unreasonable, but treats and drinks are expensive. One of the best secrets I have learned is that Disneyland will give you as many free ice waters as you want. Drinking ice water all week saved lots of money and was more healthy too. 

There was still plenty of sugar to go around.

In Tomorrowland, we indulged in some fabulous Mickey mousse. And, then there was ice cream:

This last photo also says "Disneyland" to me. The crown, the Frozen dress, that glazed over look and a crazy ice-cream on a stick dipped in chocolate and sprinkled with every conceivable topping.

Friday came so quickly! I couldn't believe how fast the time flew by. We got to the park early and did all of our favorite rides again.

It's a Small World -- one of my mom's favorite rides.

Brian and Sophie snuck off for a father/daughter lunch at a Mexican restaurant. My dad explored Tarzan's treehouse with Katie and Isaac. Katie got to ride Splash Mountain again with Brian and her brothers. We hopped between parks so everyone could ride Screamin' and Soarin' again. Isaac requested tomato soup for dinner (a new food he likes introduced to him on this trip by Brian), so we got it at the Jolly Holiday Cafe.

That night we watched Fantasmic and ate kettle corn. Right when that show ended, we made it over to Main Street in time to enjoy the unbelievable fireworks again. Spotlights lit up the sky in diamond shapes. The castle glowed in different colors in the distance. Tinkerbell and Nemo flew across the sky. And, of course, there were the special effects on Main Street. Oh yes, and a top notch fireworks show to boot. 

When the show first began, my dad lifted Isaac up so he could have a better view. After a few minutes, I found a spot for him that would work without anyone having to hold him up. Can you believe my dad? Isaac is nearly 10-years-old. I felt so lucky that my son has a grandpa who would do that for him.

Sophie stayed at the park more than anyone. She loved every minute. She and my mom stayed at the park until it closed at midnight on Friday. It turned out the lines were really short again between 11 p.m. and 12 a.m.

It was sad when it was over. But, happy to have all of the memories. 

Saturday morning, we slept in and played lazily in the pool. Then, we got dressed and headed to Hollywood.

Hollywood took longer than we thought (L.A. traffic), so our beach time was cut short. We still had some lovely moments at Manhatten Beach before we headed back to the hotel where Katie and Isaac swam until bedtime. Brian, my dad, Sophie and Ian had tickets to an Angels game. They won!

Sunday--we packed up and drove all the way home. 

Our bathroom seemed so big after 10-days with a tiny hotel bathroom, where everyone had to shower and change clothes.

It was a beautiful vacation. 

Now, back to real life.

Pink Princess Bounce House--Katie is Six!

Katie turned six.

And, there was a ridiculous amount of pink and fanfare to celebrate it.

I reserved a pink and purple castle bounce house well in advance of the big day.  Then it rained and rained so much during all the days leading up to the party that I started to get nervous.  The night before the party -- it was raining.  The morning of the party -- it was raining.

We were so relieved and happy when at 10:15, right before the party started, the rain went away and we had blue skies all day.

The Queen of the Castle

Isaac takes a turn on the slide

Someone in my house is excited to be six

Check out the bling on that crown

There is so much joy going on in this picture

And, this one

She wanted an Aurora princess party and I found these boxes to hold the favors

Of course, everyone had to get their picture taken with a backdrop of princesses

I hope all of Katie's pink princess party dreams came true.  It was a fun, fun party.

Her party was in the morning and I figured, since we had the bounce house until 10 p.m. -- why not let all of the kids have parties? 

And, that is what we did.  From 10:30 a.m. until 10 p.m. we had a revolving door of kids coming in and out, eating food, bouncing, sliding, roasting things over a fire when it got dark, and generally having a good time.

It was a memorable day.  

My Baby Has Glasses

Last night we picked up Sophie's first pair of glasses.  This is the third year in a row she has made me take her to the eye doctor (hoping she could get glasses).  The first two times, her vision was fine.  This time it was 20/40.  Hip, hip, hooray!  Glasses for Sophie.

I figured this day would most likely come.  Brian and I and both of our parents have all needed glasses (plus all of the siblings in my family and many siblings and cousins in Brian's family).  Now that she has them, I hope she will like them.

Yesterday, I pulled out an old scrapbook covering 1999-2001 so I could look at pictures of a dear childhood friend taken during a trip we took to Lagoon together.  I found out last week that she and her daughter (who is just a little 4-year-old full of smiles in the pictures from that trip) both passed away.

It has been difficult news.  This friend and I met on our first day of preschool and shared so many memories over the years including being in each other's wedding parties.

I opened the book and saw Brian and I looking skinny on our honeymoon.  Somewhere in the middle of the book were the pictures of Kristen and me.  Then it was on to the birth of my first baby.  I could see in every photo that she was the absolute center of our universe -- that beautiful baby girl.  My first daughter.  My parents' first grandchild.  In every picture of her with my mom, my mom is grinning from ear to ear.  I suppose someday I will know that happiness, which my mom swears is even better than when my own kids were born (I cannot imagine!).

Now that baby of mine is taller than me and wears braces and glasses.

It has been such a good life and continues to be wonderful.

Now, I stand at a crossroads choosing between two good things.  The job I have taken as an executive assistant keeps morphing and changing and it might mean that I have to choose between the job or homeschooling in the fall.  It is already apparent that it will impede my ability to run my full-time daycare.

It is an exciting job that I enjoy.  And, it pays well.  I have been living a dream homeschooling these past few months.  It will be hard to give it up if that is what it comes to.  But, I can't very well yank my kids out of school and then work five hours a day when I should be teaching them.

For now, I will wait and see what happens.

Soccer Blues

Today Isaac explained to me that he is the worst player on his team.

To his literal mind -- that means his team would be better off if he didn't play.  Every team would be better off if the worst player were taken out of the rotation.  And, that is what he tried to do -- take himself out of the rotation.

Isaac can be stubborn with superhuman determination when he makes up his mind about something.  These power struggles happen frequently and come out of the blue.  For example, Wednesday, I took the kids on a hike to waterfall canyon.  I expected to take Ian, Isaac and Katie on this fun adventure (Sophie has a hurt toe).  When it was time to go, Isaac declared with great passion that he hated hiking and refused to join us regardless of my best efforts at persuasion.

Two days later, my brother and his wife stopped by to say "hi" on their way to take their two kids on the exact same hike.  Isaac grabbed his shoes, ran out the door with them on a whim, enthusiastically hiked and had a fantastic time.

Because of his unpredictability and my increasing inability to pick him up and physically make him go anywhere he doesn't want to, I was supremely relieved when we signed him up for soccer two years ago and he didn't give me one minute of grief.

Every time I told him to get dressed for practice or a game, he did it without balking.  This pretty much never happens on a consistent basis with anything in our lives when it comes to this kid, leaving me thinking, "Wow, he must really love soccer."

For the first year, he happily ran up and down the field with his teammates never making contact with the ball and, to my eyes, not seeming to have a great awareness that there was an actual competitive game going on as opposed to back and forth field sprints by a group of kids wearing matching jerseys.  But, he was happy, so I was happy.

This year, he has improved.  He has started mapping out the rules and strategies of the game in his mind.  He has started trying to kick the ball when it comes near him.  And, sometimes, he even makes contact with it.  I have complimented him after every game on these achievements.

He didn't tire of playing soccer even after thirty weeks in a row with no break (after fall AYSO ended, we kept signing up for indoor sessions until spring AYSO began).

I was perplexed last week when he refused to go to practice.  Last Friday, he wouldn't go and was talking about reasons he couldn't play in the game scheduled for the next day (his knee had been hurting for two days straight so bad he could barely walk!!! he told me).  I figured he was tired, I let him skip practice, and the next day the games were rained out.

Yesterday, his practice was cancelled.  Before he went to bed I talked to him about his game the next morning.  He usually does better with transitions (like any time we need to leave to go somewhere) if I give him lots of time to warm up to the idea.

His game was at 9 a.m. and he popped out of bed at 7:30 asking to play electronics.

"Sure, you can play something as soon as you eat breakfast and get all the way ready for your game," I said.

Usually, he will do almost anything for electronics time.  Especially first thing in the morning -- something I almost never agree to.  But, this time he went into full on stubborn mode instantly.  He was yelling at me, covering his ears, crying and making sure I knew there was absolutely no way he was playing soccer.  His eyes were huge and his whole body tense with his face red as he screamed and repeated himself over and over.

Usually these outbursts come from an irrational place.  He was yelling things like, "I hate leaving the house!"  And, "It's freezing outside!"  (It was 57-degrees and the forecast said it would be 63 before his game started).

I figured he would calm down on his own, but to help him get there, I spoke in a calm voice and said things like, "Do you want to go to the drink (coffee) shop that we sometimes go to after games for a hot chocolate?"  To which he replied, "I hate that hot chocolate!!!  There is nothing special about that hot chocolate.  It tastes exactly like normal hot chocolate from our house!!!"  (side note:  it tastes like heaven in a cup, but I didn't argue this point with him).

I turned his attention to the Italian sodas instead.  No?  A candy bar?  Any kind of treat?  Would he please, please just go to the game?  What currency would he possibly accept?

Then, I pulled out the big guns.  I normally don't ground Isaac from electronics for more than 24-hours because one day off is excruciating and usually the threat of a one-day hiatus is enough to get him to do whatever it is I need him to do.  But, today, I went straight to one week.  He would not touch any electronic for an entire week.  (Then, I said a silent prayer, because it would also be torture on me to carry out this promise for the next seven days while he felt miserable and begged).

I could see his mind searching the possibilities -- he was probably wondering how many times he could sneak in the front room to play the wii in the middle of the night while I was asleep or whether or not he could get screen time at a friend's house.  Then, he dug in his heels and refused to get dressed for soccer despite the unpleasant consequence.

I tried to reason with him.  I knew at least one of his teammates was out of town.  What if more were sick or out of town?  His presence could be the deciding factor of whether they would lose the game through forfeit.

I talked to him about the importance of showing up.  The need to fulfill his obligation as a member of the team.  How disappointed his coach would feel if he didn't come when he was expecting him.

All of my words were spoken as he lay on the floor crying and screaming and asking why I didn't love him?  Why I hated him?  Why it felt like everyone in the world didn't think he even had feelings?  Yes--these outbursts are quite dramatic.  Always.

As 9 a.m. closed in and I had spent a full hour and a half engaged in this exchange, I began to feel quite emotionally drained.  I threatened to take him to the game in his P.J.s.  I threatened to get him dressed myself.  As I wrestled his shirt off of him and tried to force the soccer jersey on (I knew deep down it was never going to work, but I was out of ideas), the real reason behind all of it came spilling out.

"Besides I am the worst player on the team!!!  I never make a goal.  I never even kick the ball in the direction of the goal.  Every time I try to kick the ball the other team takes it and scores a goal.  I am the worst player so I shouldn't even play!!!"

These words went to my core.  It was as if a new self awareness had overtaken my little boy and instead of skipping up and down the field blissfully, he was now keenly aware of his shortcomings and how they hurt the team.

His description was accurate.  I had seen the scenario time and time again from the side lines.

I never cared.  It is nine-year-olds playing soccer.  I feel elated when he gets in there and kicks the ball.  I see that he is improving and that he loves to play.  But, now he knew.  I didn't care, but he did.

It took me awhile to figure out that his literal mind had plugged in all the variables like a math equation and deduced that the team would be better off if he wasn't in the rotation.

In a way -- yes.  We as parents have all been sitting at a close game when the coach rotates out the best player to give everyone equal playing time and the chances of winning quickly go south.  But, at such a young age and in an arena as non-competitive as AYSO, that's not the point.  Everyone likes to win, but, more than that, it is a great learning opportunity for these young players.

I tried to convey that message to him and Ian even chimed in to reinforce it with some of his own experiences of sticking with something even when he wasn't playing well.  Then, Ian said, "the worst player is the one who doesn't show up to the game at all, so you'd better go."

He finally got dressed and we showed up at the field twenty-minutes late with an agreement on my part that he didn't have to play, just sit on the sidelines to show support to the team.

He sat on my lap and I rubbed his back.  To anyone else who saw the situation, it probably seemed like I was coddling my son.  "What's that sweetie?  You don't want to play today?  Come sit with mommy.  You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."  If only they knew the price tag of getting him there.  The number of tears I had watched slide down his cheeks.  The abundance of yelling I had listened to. The ragged shaky feelings inside me that would take another twenty minutes of sitting in the sun before they would soften and begin to melt away.

We arrived as the first quarter ended and we sat like that through the next two quarters.  Then, two of his teammates were out of the game for injuries so he agreed to play.  I think playing the fourth quarter helped him feel better.

He showed up to the game.  He got to keep his electronic privileges.  He got a back rub in the sun.  He got cheetos and gatorade from the team mom.  He got high fives from everyone.  I hoped he saw how much better it was to come to the game than to stay home.

I wanted to say something to the coach who, by the way, is awesome with the boys.

After most people had left, I approached him while he was gathering nine-million things to carry to his car.  He had that look like he was frantic to get to the next thing.  The way most parents are on a Saturday of shuttling kids around and trying to fit it all in.  "Hi coach.  Isaac thinks he is the worst player and that the worst player on the team shouldn't play because, logically, to him, that makes the most sense."

The coach dropped everything from his arms and went down on his knees to look Isaac in the eyes (although Isaac mostly looked down and to the side as he spoke).  "Isaac, do you love soccer?"  Isaac nodded.  "You are an important member of this team.  I would never trade you for any other player on any other team.  When I was your age, I was picking dandelions during the games.  I didn't know how to play.  But, I stuck with it and that is how I got good.  How did you learn math?  From practicing?  That is how you learn soccer.  If you love it, you need to stick with it and don't ever say you shouldn't be in the game."

I really appreciated that.