I Love: Being an At-Home-Mom

Am I a Stay-at-Home-Mom (SAHM) or a Work-at-Home-Mom (WAHM)? Some days it's hard to tell. All I know is that I am tremendously grateful for the AHM part.

For as long as I can remember, I planned to stay home when I had kids. It was never a question in my mind. This commitment to be an AHM affected decisions I made in college and is the reason we bought a fixer-upper in Ogden (which we knew we could eventually afford on one income) instead of one of the nicer, already fixed up homes we could have afforded on the two incomes we had when we bought a home.

When it came right down to giving up (nearly) 50% of our household income and trading my amazing 100% coverage health insurance benefits to pay more for the not-as-fabulous health insurance benefits offered by Brian's employer, it did raise some questions.

"Perhaps I should see if they will let me work part-time? Perhaps I should just work for a few more months so we can put some money into savings? Perhaps . . ."

Instead, I went cold turkey and quit my job right when Sophie was born. That was probably for the best, because, really, when is it ever convenient to give up income and/or benefits?

Sophie's heart hair-do for Valentine's Day.

Then, came the transition period. And, I am sad to admit that there was a lot of complaining and ingratitude. There were, of course, wonderful moments. But, transitioning from a fast paced life in the career world to the isolation of being at home with an infant was a lot harder than I had imagined. It took some time to find my niche. As the years have gone by, I've learned to love being an AHM more than anything else life has to offer.

This is what we do sometimes when we are suppose to be going to bed.



















When Isaac was a baby, I went through a time when I seriously considered getting a full-time job. Regular paychecks, company health insurance plans, paid vacations, and other benefits are such beautiful things lost to the self-employed (now, I only wish we had the option to pay what we paid for those less than stellar company benefits). I wrote down the pros and cons. Added up the costs (such as childcare and money lost from my WAHM ventures) and subtracted them from the foreseeable pay increase. When I came face-to-face with working as my possible reality, it broke my heart to pieces to think of leaving my kids. I suddenly didn't feel like complaining about the little struggles, the never ending housework, and other minor things that can cloud the vision of gratitude for the tremendous blessing of being home raising my own kids. The money and benefits didn't seem so lucrative anymore.

My crew of six feeding the ducks.

Recently, a copy of Dr. Laura's new book, "In Praise of Stay At Home Moms," came into my possession and reading it ramped up my gratitude for my blessings even more.

First, by way of critique, I feel inclined to say that this book felt more like reading a rough draft than a published piece. And, I had a difficult time digesting the first three chapters that I think really put down working moms. Even though being an AHM is the absolute best, right, and only choice for me, I feel like there needs to be a mutual respect.

With that said, I also felt washed over with sincere gratitude for my blessings. It was kind of like reading a book on the miracle of eyesight. Each of us is so blessed by this gift, yet, we don't go around every day thinking, "I am SO grateful to see!!!" Reading this book made me really think about my blessings when it comes to being a mom. And, it made me even more grateful for the support I get from Brian. He would never suggest that I go to work and he appreciates all that I do in the home.


Several months ago, I heard a caller on a talk radio program who changed my perspective of being an AHM. The topic was childhood obesity and asking why kids today don't run around the neighborhood and play outside the way we did when we were kids? People suggested that it's because of technology (kids playing computer games and watching T.V.) combined with parents being afraid of kidnappers. Then, a caller said, "It's because of moms going to work." And, he talked about how when he was a kid there was a mom in almost every house peering out the window now and then to make sure the neighborhood gang of kids wasn't getting into mischief. They knew that if they had a problem, they could knock on almost any door to get help from a mom. With the majority of the moms gone, it has changed the whole face of the neighborhood and made it less safe for kids to go out and get the fresh air and exercise they need.



This got me to thinking about how my choice to not work outside the home could actually be for an even greater good than just the benefit of my family. Like my few drops given back to the ocean of humanity. That's nice. But, what is really nice is getting to be with my kids. I wouldn't trade it for a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g.